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Well you sure demonstrate an excellent orchestration ability.  Lot of color and fireworks for sure.  The work is quite "witty" and does have a flare to it.  My only comment is in reference to the overall style.  The score seems a good fit for cinema and/or animation.  Is this your intent?

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Agree with MJFOBOE so far as its potential for something cinematic but short of going through the score in detail I found the orchestration a bit messy and unbalanced. Per the score, part 2 was pretty dense but came over very well.

Around about 6'50" the chunks of chords (that sounded mostly brass) sounded as if their envelopes had been electronically treated to be dead square. Instant attack, instant cutoff, no decay.

All in all the bass seemed over-heavy with just a few let-ups throughout. It tends to blur harmony that isn't basic and concordant, like (tonal) triads. If harmonic coherence isn't intended, that's fine.

Having said that, as you pointed out, you abandoned work on the rendering after 3'30" and notation software rarely does a work justice especially with complexities where clarity of line counts.

 

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