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Chanson D'automne - Piano and Mezzo-Soprano


francoisfj

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Hello again, I'm posting a lot lately... This will probably the last one in a while!

I am sending this score to a competition, I would be grateful if you could provide me with some of your feedback. I am also worried about the score, I may not be familiar with all the conventions or the proper way of writing the score, if you could point me towards mistakes or things to improve it would be really great!

This is a song for mezzo-soprano voice and piano, based on the poem of Paul Verlaine 'Chanson d'Automne'. The audio is software generated, and I was not pleased with the voice playback of the software so I substituted the voice to a clarinet (but the actual piece is for voice and piano).

Lastly, the score in the video is not the updated score (I have included the updated one separately as a pdf). I have removed things such as slurs in the voice part where it is not appropriate.

Thank you!

François

 

 

 

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Here is the poem in french and its translationto english after:
 
Les sanglots longs
Des violons
De l'automne
Blessent mon coeur
D'une langueur
Monotone.
Tout suffocant
Et blême, quand
Sonne l'heure,
Je me souviens
Des jours anciens
Et je pleure;
Et je m'en vais
Au vent mauvais
Qui m'emporte
Deçà, delà,
Pareil à la
Feuille morte.

Autumn Song

With long sobs
The violins
Of autumn
Wound my heart
With languorous
Monotony.
All choking
And pale, when
The hour sounds,
I remember
Departed days
And I weep;
And I go
Where ill winds blow,
Buffeted
To and fro,
Like a
Dead leaf.
Edited by francoisfj
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I am slightly confused about the way you've written your duplets in this piece.  It might be less confusing if you wrote your duplets as dotted 8th notes which I think in this case they're equivalent to.

As for the music - I like the tone set by this song.  It sounds dreary which I think is the intent given the subject of the poem (which by the way is a curious one considering it's summer LoL).  Thanks for posting the words in English for the community.  I'm sure a real singer would add much emotion (or apathy since that's what I think you're going for LoL) and make it sound even more musical and affecting.  Thanks for sharing and I hope you do well in the competition!

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I would see if it is possible to "hide" some of the bpm designations that accompany your rit. and accels. in the score.  You need them to be physically present in the score to get the tempo changes to change at the rate you desire for the playback, but a performer looking at the score doesn't need so much specificity as a computer program, and just needs "rit." and "accel." and maybe the final tempo to aim for.  In most composition software, there is a way to set some elements to "visible" versus "invisible" or to "hide" them.  Something to consider since your goal is a professional looking score.  

My other question, which you would know better than me, is the copyright status of Verlaine's famous poem.  I'm not sure how the law works in France.  Is it free to use at this point, or do you need to receive permission from the rights holder?  (Generally either his family or the publishing company that put out the most recent edition of his poetry).  There have been cases of contest prizes being rescinded when it turned out that the composer did not have permission to use a text in their choral composition, because the organization holding the contest didn't want to get sued.  Be sure you have checked if you haven't already.  

Good luck!

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On 6/30/2022 at 2:03 AM, PeterthePapercomPoser said:

I am slightly confused about the way you've written your duplets in this piece.  It might be less confusing if you wrote your duplets as dotted 8th notes which I think in this case they're equivalent to.

As for the music - I like the tone set by this song.  It sounds dreary which I think is the intent given the subject of the poem (which by the way is a curious one considering it's summer LoL).  Thanks for posting the words in English for the community.  I'm sure a real singer would add much emotion (or apathy since that's what I think you're going for LoL) and make it sound even more musical and affecting.  Thanks for sharing and I hope you do well in the competition!

 

Thank you for the comment! I'm glad you liked the piece 🙂

Regarding the duplets, they are indeed equivalent to dotted eight notes, but I wasn't sure which notation to use!

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On 7/2/2022 at 9:03 PM, pateceramics said:

I would see if it is possible to "hide" some of the bpm designations that accompany your rit. and accels. in the score.  You need them to be physically present in the score to get the tempo changes to change at the rate you desire for the playback, but a performer looking at the score doesn't need so much specificity as a computer program, and just needs "rit." and "accel." and maybe the final tempo to aim for.  In most composition software, there is a way to set some elements to "visible" versus "invisible" or to "hide" them.  Something to consider since your goal is a professional looking score.  

My other question, which you would know better than me, is the copyright status of Verlaine's famous poem.  I'm not sure how the law works in France.  Is it free to use at this point, or do you need to receive permission from the rights holder?  (Generally either his family or the publishing company that put out the most recent edition of his poetry).  There have been cases of contest prizes being rescinded when it turned out that the composer did not have permission to use a text in their choral composition, because the organization holding the contest didn't want to get sued.  Be sure you have checked if you haven't already.  

Good luck!

 

Thanks for the feedback! I think that's a great point, there are too many tempo indications, I will simplify this 🙂

For the copyright status, I think it's in the pubic domain after a hundred years? I found the poem online for free, so I assume that's the case as well. I can check further but thanks for pointing that out!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I overall liked the piece. It's not ambitious, neither powerful nor triumphant. On the contrary, it feels humble, liquid, fainting, defeated. It has such a very particular beauty that I don't find everyday. Thank you for sharing it, any possible criticism that I imagined regarding the score was already said by other forum users so all that's left to say is good luck and cheer up!

Kind regards,

Daniel–Ømicrón.

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On 7/15/2022 at 1:14 AM, Omicronrg9 said:

I overall liked the piece. It's not ambitious, neither powerful nor triumphant. On the contrary, it feels humble, liquid, fainting, defeated. It has such a very particular beauty that I don't find everyday. Thank you for sharing it, any possible criticism that I imagined regarding the score was already said by other forum users so all that's left to say is good luck and cheer up!

Kind regards,

Daniel–Ømicrón.

 

I'm glad you liked it : ) I think your description is spot on, thanks for the comment!

 

François

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On 7/18/2022 at 2:55 PM, Luis Hernández said:

I like the mood in this piece.

why did you use only one stave for the piano most of time? It's confusing.

Captura de pantalla 2022-07-18 a las 20.54.21.jpg

 

Thank you! I thought it would be easier to write the piano part in one stave, especially because of the held notes. I suppose it is indeed clearer for performers to write it on the two staves.

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