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GospelPiano12

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I struggle with notating rhythm - here's my attempt at notating a hymn.

IT's All In You.png

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20 minutes ago, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

It's basically ok!

The "it's" in b.2 should be a low G. "All my" in b.5 is a dotted one instead of even crotchets. The "my" in b.6 and the "in" in b.7 is a D, instead of an F. "As I'm" in b.9 is A for both notes. In b.11 there should be lyrics 'Lord I know you' with notes A,G,G,F. And there should be more bars I guess?

Henry

 

Thanks for the feedback, I actually decided to simplify that spot a little and take out those words when notating it. Are there any other issues with my rhythm? 

Edited by GospelPiano12
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Another one, I'd like to make my chord progression a little more interesting. This one is supposed to have a somber feel on the verses, but a bigger more "orchestral/grand" sound on the chorus. 

If anyone has any ideas on what could replace the Gm7 in both verse and chorus let me know. I'm also hearing a Bb-Dm-Dbdim7-C7 at the end of the chorus instead of a Bb-Gm-Gdim7/Db-C7

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