Milenka

First, I had to publicly admit my passion for music. I felt ashamed to say I wanted to be a musician, and moreover that I wanted to compose. As a young teenager, I wasn't feeling good enough and I thought people would laugh at me. Then, even though I was taking piano and basic theory classes, I did not really know how to compose so I created my own little system, full of fantasy, and it made a lot of sense to me, I was writing things I liked and that my friends enjoyed. So when I started to follow more advanced theory and composition classes, I discovered all the inadequacies in my system, and it became impossible for me to use it without feeling cheap. So I became blocked by rules, by the idea that there was right and wrong and I didn't dare write anything at all. It took me months to overcome this, to feel free again. Now the difficulty I have is to talk about my music with words. I always find it a little humiliating and I have no precise idea why.