April 2, 20223 yr Hi guys, I'm new here! 🙂 This is my first piano piece, the Russian March. Edited April 2, 20223 yr by David S
April 7, 20223 yr The pickup-figure in the bass in M. 9 B. 2 is rather spicy because of the chromatic diminished fifth and the non-stepwise resolution. Transposing it down an octave however would extend the jump down an octave, so I would keep it. In M. 7, the movement from Ab to g also clashes with the melody(implied Abaugmaj7 in first inversion), I would change the upper voice in the left hand to C-Bb-C-G. The cross-relation in M. 16 B. 2 and the minor ninth in M. 17 B. 2 are rather jarring, same goes for M. 35 B. 2(cross-relation), M. 49 B. 1(fifth in the bass). The sixteenth-note figure in M. 63 might work better with eighth-notes, in M. 70 however it sounds fine(though, this arguably foreshadows the figure in MM. 72 f.). M. 113 B. 2 might also work better as C-E without the intermittent D. (M. = measure, B. = beat) Quite an accomplishment! Really solid in terms of form and sprinkled with catchy rhythms. In MM. 72, I would have expected you to prolong the ending of the B theme to really milk the sudden burst of velocity. Also, really nice codetta. Minor qualms concerning voice leading aside, this is a solid small work.
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