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Posted

Hey guys. I've been a guitarist for the majority of my life but composing for an orchestra is relatively new to me (I've been doing that for 2 years give or take). I wrote this piece a few months ago, and it has strings, woodwinds, piano, and some percussion. I hope you enjoy!

I wasn't able to find the audio file so I'll post the Youtube link instead. 

 

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)

Hey @SorooshMHS!

Very well done! I like the mood and harmonies a lot!

Its minded to be incidental music? It sounds like an ost.

Here are some recommendations:

- In sections that are more percussive (as in 0:48) i think that rythmic strings would fit more. Check https://youtu.be/243Uguc-6mQ 0:28 as an example of incidental music and https://youtu.be/QElT9KD4uX8 11:10 as an example of non incidental music.

- This has some celtic vibes, maybe an alto flute or more exotic woodwinds would add a lot to the music. Check https://youtu.be/CrcWtQXlonw Herman Beeftink work's, you'll learn a lot about wind instrumentation.

 

- If you share the score it would be easier for us to help you with harmonies, motives etc..., but you did pretty well melodic development here!

 

Hope I helped! 

Samuel

Edited by Samuel_vangogh
  • Like 2
Posted
  On 6/23/2023 at 2:48 PM, Samuel_vangogh said:

Hey @SorooshMHS!

Very well done! I like the mood and harmonies a lot!

Its minded to be incidental music? It sounds like an ost.

Here are some recommendations:

- In sections that are more percussive (as in 0:48) i think that rythmic strings would fit more. Check https://youtu.be/243Uguc-6mQ 0:28 as an example of incidental music and https://youtu.be/QElT9KD4uX8 11:10 as an example of non incidental music.

- This has some celtic vibes, maybe an alto flute or more exotic woodwinds would add a lot to the music. Check https://youtu.be/CrcWtQXlonw Herman Beeftink work's, you'll learn a lot about wind instrumentation.

 

- If you share the score it would be easier for us to help you with harmonies, motives etc..., but you did pretty well melodic development here!

 

Hope I helped! 

Samuel

 
Expand  

Hi @Samuel_vangogh, thank you so much for the feedback, glad you liked my piece!

Yes I'd say this was incidental music. I wrote it for a challenge in a music community I'm in, where this was the prompt: "Create a music piece that expresses the feeling of being lost in a dense forest, surrounded by towering trees and the sounds of nature. The piece should have a sense of wonder, awe, and maybe a touch of uncertainty. The melody should be slow and melodic, with the use of soft strings and woodwinds to evoke the serene atmosphere of the forest. Percussive elements should be added to mimic the sounds of rustling leaves and the occasional bird call. The piece should build to a climax, reaching a state of peaceful acceptance before slowly fading away, leaving the listener with a sense of being one with nature."

- I see what you mean with the rhythmic strings, it might have made it a bit more interesting. I kept most of my piece fairly simple haha

- Just listened to that Herman Beeftink piece, it's really nice. I've definitely got a lot to learn about orchestration and will check out more of his work. Interesting that you thought my piece had celtic vibes, I don't think I've ever actively listened to that stuff 😄

- I don't have a score (a staff notation score that is), as that's not how I write music. I use MIDI piano roll in a DAW, so I could send MIDI if that would help!

Thank you so much,

Soroosh

  • Like 1
Posted

This is the score, its  little bit laggy because its exported form a midi. From now on i will refer to the sheet music.

PDF
  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

In bar 6: that Ab major chord sounds magical tto me, that chord doesnot make sense if we are thinking about D minor, but its easy to explain that chord as it is just cromatic notes, very well executed

Bar 8, that F on a A7 chord may 'make the sonority muddy', idk if it was your intention.

I love the harmonic progression in b15!

When the oboe appears again with the melody in b23, its the same, maybe some melodic development or another harmonies would work as well, try writting an unexpected chord, this will add a lot of richness to the sonority.

Also, try using dorian or mixolydian scales, they will help construct a more forestry sonority

Edited by Samuel_vangogh
  • Like 1
Posted

Hi @SorooshMHS,

Welcome to YC and thanks for joining us!

The piece is indeed beautiful. I agree with many things @Samuel_vangogh mentioned so I'm not going to repeat his points!

I love the phyrgian mode in b.14 with the Eb, but I find its clash with E natural somewhat off.

  On 6/24/2023 at 11:00 AM, Samuel_vangogh said:

Also, try using dorian or mixolydian scales, they will help construct a more forestry sonority

Expand  

I think Soroosh does use the dorian scale, e.g. in b.16 with that E-B-E chord. 

I like in b.15-22 during similar passages you're alternating the chords with that dorian chord and the F minor (another octatonically related key!).

  On 6/24/2023 at 11:00 AM, Samuel_vangogh said:

In bar 6: that Ab major chord sounds magical tto me, that chord doesnot make sense if we are thinking about D minor, but its easy to explain that chord as it is just cromatic notes, very well executed

Expand  

Yup I agree with Samuel that the chord is chord is beautiful. Using octatonically related keys can be really beautiful sometimes!

  On 6/24/2023 at 11:00 AM, Samuel_vangogh said:

When the oboe appears again with the melody in b23, its the same, maybe some melodic development or another harmonies would work as well, try writting an unexpected chord, this will add a lot of richness to the sonority.

Expand  

I agree with Samuel again. Besides his suggestion, using the B minor chord will be great too as it's the only octatonically key not being used here! But maybe for an incidental music the variety is enough here.

Remember to check out our other members' posts and review them!

Henry

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
  On 6/24/2023 at 11:00 AM, Samuel_vangogh said:

In bar 6: that Ab major chord sounds magical tto me, that chord doesnot make sense if we are thinking about D minor, but its easy to explain that chord as it is just cromatic notes, very well executed

Bar 8, that F on a A7 chord may 'make the sonority muddy', idk if it was your intention.

I love the harmonic progression in b15!

When the oboe appears again with the melody in b23, its the same, maybe some melodic development or another harmonies would work as well, try writting an unexpected chord, this will add a lot of richness to the sonority.

Also, try using dorian or mixolydian scales, they will help construct a more forestry sonority

 
Expand  

Thank you Samuel for the feedback and the score!

b6: thank you, I love me a good bV chord (that's how i think of it at least), especially in an aeolian/minor context

b8: good ear. that does clash, but i never really noticed it. I think it's because the E in the chord is being played with the pizzicato cello so it doesn't sustain enough to make it immediately noticeable with the sustaining F note in the viola

b15: thank you, i'm pretty happy with that part!

b23: I agree, I will say I kind of copy pasted that section. the only things i added were a few more untuned percussion hits, and doubling the pizzicato cello with the piano. I'm more of a songwriter than composer (I'm not classically trained either) so that's something I tend to do. It could definitely use some development.

I don't think I used mixolydian but I did borrow a G chord (which would be the IV in relation to D minor) from the parallel dorian. But yes, I didn't do a full on dorian section. 

Edited by SorooshMHS
Posted (edited)
  On 6/24/2023 at 12:15 PM, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

Hi @SorooshMHS,

Welcome to YC and thanks for joining us!

The piece is indeed beautiful. I agree with many things @Samuel_vangogh mentioned so I'm not going to repeat his points!

I love the phyrgian mode in b.14 with the Eb, but I find its clash with E natural somewhat off.

I think Soroosh does use the dorian scale, e.g. in b.16 with that E-B-E chord. 

I like in b.15-22 during similar passages you're alternating the chords with that dorian chord and the F minor (another octatonically related key!).

Yup I agree with Samuel that the chord is chord is beautiful. Using octatonically related keys can be really beautiful sometimes!

I agree with Samuel again. Besides his suggestion, using the B minor chord will be great too as it's the only octatonically key not being used here! But maybe for an incidental music the variety is enough here.

Remember to check out our other members' posts and review them!

Henry

 
Expand  

Hi Henry, thank you!

b14: I see what you're saying. The Eb does clash a bit with the D in the pizzicato cello a bit.

I did borrow a chord from D dorian indeed, I really like the sound of a major IV chord in a minor context, there's something majestic about it. About the Fm, I think of that as a chromatic mediant, which is a concept I've been exploring a lot lately.

Bm would be an interesting chord to try as well. If I'm not mistaking, that would be another chromatic mediant actually!

I'll make sure to check out other members' posts as well. Like I said earlier, I'm not classically trained so my feedback might not be that useful for classical influenced music but I will give it a go 🙂

Thanks,

Soroosh

Edited by SorooshMHS
  • Like 1
Posted
  On 6/24/2023 at 1:11 PM, SorooshMHS said:

b14: I see what you're saying. The Eb does clash a bit with the D in the pizzicato cello a bit.

Expand  

Yeah, and the Eb also clash with the E natural by the oboe in the last crotchet.

  On 6/24/2023 at 1:11 PM, SorooshMHS said:

About the Fm, I think of that as a chromatic mediant, which is a concept I've been exploring a lot lately.

Expand  

That's a great try!

  On 6/24/2023 at 1:11 PM, SorooshMHS said:

Bm would be an interesting chord to try as well. If I'm not mistaking, that would be another chromatic mediant actually!

Expand  

Yeah they are all related within the same octatonic scale: D-E-F-G-Ab-Bb-B natural-C# and back to D, with D-E-F as D minor, F-G-Ab as F minor, Ab-Bb-B natural(Cb) as Ab minor, and B-C#-D as B minor.

  On 6/24/2023 at 1:11 PM, SorooshMHS said:

I'll make sure to check out other members' posts as well. Like I said earlier, I'm not classically trained so my feedback might not be that useful for classical influenced music but I will give it a go 🙂

Expand  

Thanks! Even a comment like "I love the piece" will help!!

Henry

  • Like 1
Posted
  On 6/24/2023 at 1:26 PM, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

Yeah, and the Eb also clash with the E natural by the oboe in the last crotchet.

Expand  

Ahh yeah that too, just saw that

  On 6/24/2023 at 1:26 PM, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

Yeah they are all related within the same octatonic scale: D-E-F-G-Ab-Bb-B natural-C# and back to D, with D-E-F as D minor, F-G-Ab as F minor, Ab-Bb-B natural(Cb) as Ab minor, and B-C#-D as B minor

Expand  

That's a really interesting way of thinking about it. So if I understand correctly, you're taking the first 3 notes from the scales you mentioned, and putting them together to form a scale. Very interesting. I don't really know anything about octatonic scales, so I will look into that

  On 6/24/2023 at 1:26 PM, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

Thanks! Even a comment like "I love the piece" will help!!

Expand  

For sure!
Thanks,

Soroosh

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