Piece for my grandma

Well, summer is almost ending :'-), I've been busy with some things so I couldn't make the most of the vacances, i will also be more active in this forum.

I wrote this to my grandmother, she was called 'La Botones' (The Buttons girl), I've been studying tchaikovsky and brahms pieces. I don't really know how to continue the piece, i planed to keep developing the rythmical motive and then do a B section in a far-away minor key (like a minor). I also feel like the modulation to Gmajor is quite sudden.

Hey Samuel,

The opening is lovely. I think the transition to b.13 abrupt, as you should develop the opening 12 bars first! The b.13 G major phrase can act as the contrasting phrase within the A section itself, and then you can have the initial phrase repeated and developed before getting to a contrasting B section.

Henry

3 hours ago, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

Hey Samuel,

The opening is lovely. I think the transition to b.13 abrupt, as you should develop the opening 12 bars first! The b.13 G major phrase can act as the contrasting phrase within the A section itself, and then you can have the initial phrase repeated and developed before getting to a contrasting B section.

Henry

 

I think that i should expand both parts, maybe a tiny section in D minor/major before the G major would be great. And the G major section is also too short. 

I think that this would work well as a Section A.

Thank you for you comment !