Want to refine this piece for the Piano and the Violin

The score I'm attaching will be part of a set of fifteen tracks that I sort of imagine as a story. I am happy with this one (Track 14) at certain places, but I think it isn't very "smooth" and doesn't sound proper at other places so I wanted to get the opinion of others in terms of what does not sound good, or sounds odd, or any constructive criticism at all. 

Thank you in advance!

Edit: Since I do not play the violin, I'd like to know if the parts I've written are playable.

Hello @piajo,

For me I don't like this piece is Larghetto at all! I think you can at least double your note value from b.10 and b.23 till the end. For the middle section you can always change the tempo and tempo markings.

One thing I notice is the middle section. I think the change of texture and tempo there is somewhat abrupt, and the section itself is not interesting enough. Probably you can add melodies there! Also you can always vary the texture. Now the piano right hand is doing all the stunt job and I am sure he would get a tired right hand next day. You can share that line to piano left hand and violin and have exchange their roles. Also that pattern isn't particularly easy to play for the pianist with those wide leaps. 

Probably you will have to add some slurs to make the program recognize that it's legato playing, otherwise they will play it like non-legato notes and less smooth. Adding dynamic markings will also help!

Thx for sharing!

Henry

@Henry Ng Tsz Kiu Oh right, I forgot to mention while making the post that I know this isn't in Larghetto (maybe Allegro), but I was halfway done with the piece when I noticed that and have been lazy to change it. I use musescore so I think I'll have to re-write the piece.

The middle section really bothers me, that is the main thing I want to change so thank you for the ideas! As a pianist with small hands I should've noticed how wide those notes are, that was a result of job done in a rush.

Thank you very much for the feedback!

On 12/10/2023 at 5:23 PM, piajo said:

The score I'm attaching will be part of a set of fifteen tracks that I sort of imagine as a story. I am happy with this one (Track 14) at certain places, but I think it isn't very "smooth" and doesn't sound proper at other places so I wanted to get the opinion of others in terms of what does not sound good, or sounds odd, or any constructive criticism at all. 

Thank you in advance!

Edit: Since I do not play the violin, I'd like to know if the parts I've written are playable.

 

MP3

 

 

Play / pause

• Track 14

0:31

 

 

2:27

volume

 

> next

menu

 

Track 14

 

> next

PDF

• Track 14

Sounds lovely as it is.

I have changed the middle section (attached the score and generated mp3 below). There's a scale and modal shift into this, and then back to what it was at the beginning. I want to know if it sounds too abrupt (I've listened to it it so many times and played it so I don't think I can judge it well) and if it's abrupt, do you have any advice on making the transition smooth?Track 14 - V2.pdf

Pardon my seemingly amateurish comment, but have your tried inserting vibrato between transition?

On 1/8/2024 at 12:16 PM, murphybridget said:

Pardon my seemingly amateurish comment, but have your tried inserting vibrato between transition?

I actually did not try that! I'm not sure if it'll help with the modal shift though.

23 hours ago, piajo said:

I actually did not try that! I'm not sure if it'll help with the modal shift though.

 

I am not sure how effective or ineffective it will be however.