Looking for feedback on my score / transcription (after refinements)

A few weeks ago I already posted this on related forums, and received some very detailed responses which pointed me to rework the dynamics, chords, tempo and key signatures.

Now I feel like I'm much closer to having a polished and release ready version (it's just a hobby project for me though).

I'm sure there's still a lot of stuff in there that looks / sounds amateurish, which may or may not have to remain depending on the effort I'd have to invest to fix it.

But to get a general impression on how much this transcription / arrangement is still lacking, I'd like to have some final feedback, in case I'm allowed to ask for that over here (specifically looking for a community specialised in composing now).

The score can be found here:

https://musescore.com/user/103380388/scores/25823476

It's supposed to be an arrangement to the following track:

Paint the Pictures

I know I've taken a few liberties and it's not a 1:1 transcription, but I feel the changes were necessary to make everything work out more smoothly on piano.

What I'm mostly worried still, would be:

- key signatures: I received feedback before, that the original doesn't use F#'s everywhere, and so I decided to not use a 'default' key signature at all except for the bridge. I just added the sharps to each F individually where I deemed them necessary. I'm not sure if this is fine, though? Like, is it a good style to change key signature 'just' for the bridge?

- playability: I removed / moved some notes to avoid ninth intervals, which would be unplayable by the vast majority of pianists. Now I still have parts that require you to 'jump' much of the bass clef up and down in quick succession to hit octaves though... Are these fine and should I keep them, or are they unnecessarily difficult and I should just keep the root notes?

- dissonances: I feel like the last few bars of the bridge sound dissonant and annoying after a few listens. However, the original is kind of the same... Now, I increased harmony near the bridges end by using more complex chords / triads, which bother me because they seem to bring in the dissonances. Is this just a midi playback issue, and these triads in the upper treble clef area should be 'more simple' as they are at the beginning of the bridge (where treble clef chords consist of 1-2 notes max), or are they fine and I should keep them?

- chorus: There are two chorus segments, and in the first one I intentionally omitted the octaves to reserve a more powerful effect for the second one. Now, does the first chorus sound too 'weak' to you, or would you keep it as is?

- of course any additional critic / feedback is fine as well with me

Thanks!

Hello @90110n,

Welcome to the forum!

I don’t listen to the original at all. Lemme just respond point by point:

On 7/13/2025 at 9:43 PM, 90110n said:

key signatures: I received feedback before, that the original doesn't use F#'s everywhere, and so I decided to not use a 'default' key signature at all except for the bridge. I just added the sharps to each F individually where I deemed them necessary. I'm not sure if this is fine, though? Like, is it a good style to change key signature 'just' for the bridge?

The key signature is perfectly fine here with just some F sharps for the Dorian mode. I do find the key change in b.127 unnecessary since you are modulating to G/E minor anyway later.

On 7/13/2025 at 9:43 PM, 90110n said:

playability: I removed / moved some notes to avoid ninth intervals, which would be unplayable by the vast majority of pianists. Now I still have parts that require you to 'jump' much of the bass clef up and down in quick succession to hit octaves though... Are these fine and should I keep them, or are they unnecessarily difficult and I should just keep the root notes?

I don’t think ninths are unplayable by vast majority of pianists at all. From what I see from your score an intermediate level pianist will be able to play your score so it’s perfectly playable. 

On 7/13/2025 at 9:43 PM, 90110n said:

dissonances: I feel like the last few bars of the bridge sound dissonant and annoying after a few listens. However, the original is kind of the same... Now, I increased harmony near the bridges end by using more complex chords / triads, which bother me because they seem to bring in the dissonances. Is this just a midi playback issue, and these triads in the upper treble clef area should be 'more simple' as they are at the beginning of the bridge (where treble clef chords consist of 1-2 notes max), or are they fine and I should keep them?

What is the bar number of the bridges? For me the dissonance here is absolutely fine.

On 7/13/2025 at 9:43 PM, 90110n said:

chorus: There are two chorus segments, and in the first one I intentionally omitted the octaves to reserve a more powerful effect for the second one. Now, does the first chorus sound too 'weak' to you, or would you keep it as is?

I would keep it as it is, and it’s nice you have the sense to avoid repetition for the choruses! 

On 7/13/2025 at 9:43 PM, 90110n said:

of course any additional critic / feedback is fine as well with me

For me some of the bars with bare chords like b.65 or 165 too bare. Probably you can add more harmonic notes for fuller chords there. 

Thx for sharing and joining!

Henry