Jesus was Born this Day

@Vonias Wow, I didn’t know your church would be singing it! What an honor.

In that case, I’d like to offer my feedback if you’ll accept it. I really like the beginning section in mood, and I like how it’s more tonal than what you put into the AI. When I listened to it first, I thought the beginning Ooh’s were a non-lyrical version of the first verse of a hymn. Looking back they’re not, but if you made them so I think that would be a lovely beginning and certainly in style in the choral atmosphere I’m a part of. It’s like a precursor of what’s to come.

If you were to go in and edit this, the biggest thing I think you should work on is the form. The first section is only 6 bars and doesn’t quite end on a rhyme scheme. I would recommend making it 8 bars and rhyme, in a period or sentence form if you can make it (those are the two clearest, most liked forms). Then go into the final section and make it similar 8 bars, but more final. Then you can end on an Amen if you’d like, and the whole would sound more fitting and like each part relates to each other.

As a minor thing, I think having piano the whole time would be fitting for a more contemporary sounding piece.

I don’t quite know what you’re asking about tradition, but I don’t think starting with an amen, or singing an aeuouae “Ah eh ooh oh ooh…” on a descant would make much sense musically, so I think the tradition in those two areas is fitting and helpful. I don’t think tradition is the only or best way on its own, but when it proves its own principles, I think you get a higher quality result when sticking to it.

Would you mind checking out my piece and offering some feedback please?

Vonias

Wonderful  composition, so lovely and spiritual,and the vocal choir is Amazing, the sort of sound you hear in Big Films

Iv never heard any thing like this ...thankyou ,and  i wish you every success in life.