Fragment of the first part Op.7 Symphony №2 - Rebirth (need advice)

Hi! I’ve set myself an ambitious goal: to compose a symphony dedicated to my beloved late teacher. Even though I’m not from the music world at all and have no formal musical education, I decided that it’s going to be a large five-movement symphony, with massive outer movements and a choir in the finale. I’ve already started composing the first movement, but in the last few days I’ve felt that something is going wrong. I really want to hear an outside perspective to tell me whether my thinking is on the right track. It feels like I haven’t even finished the exposition yet, but the quality of the writing is already starting to drop and the form is falling apart. Starting around 4:37 I feel like I get carried away in the wrong direction, and maybe I should rewrite that part. I’d be very grateful if you could either dispel or confirm these worries.

I don't sense this going astray at 4:37 that you seem to feel, personally.  But you presumably have a better concept than I would of what the overall structure of the movement is going to be.  

On 17.12.2025 at 08:22, Aiwendil said:

Я не чувствую, что в 4:37 что-то идёт не так, как вам кажется. Но, вероятно, вы лучше меня представляете, какой будет общая структура движения.

 

Thank you for your opinion!

Hi, I personally like the change at 4:37 ... I think you need to empower it more ... bring it out; rather than reiterating the very slow buildup in the beginning. 

Personally, I would bring in the new thematic material sooner to provide contrast - it has a nice mysterious quality to it. 

Mark

On 19.12.2025 at 04:41, MJFOBOE said:

Привет, мне лично нравится изменение в 4:37 ... Думаю, тебе нужно усилить его ... вывести на первый план, а не повторять очень медленное нарастание в начале.

Лично я бы добавил новый тематический материал раньше, чтобы создать контраст — в нём есть что-то загадочное.

Марк

 

Thanks for the response! It gives me confidence that I'm thinking along the same lines as you—that these aren't just my own thoughts. I agree that this material needs more development and elaboration. I wanted to gradually transition to the march-like musical material from the 0:50-1:50 section, but in a darker sound with different orchestration—predominantly brass this time—so I could then wrap up the first thematic section and start a contrasting scherzo. I've already started making the changes.