War born - Revisited over and over until this version. Feedback seeking.

I spend a lot of time refining this composition over a period of a few months. Working almost sorely on this piece alone.
I also attached the first version of the composition so you can see the difference.
Did I make real improvements?
Any critique?
Thanks in advance.

warborn revisited finale version.pdf First version Like clock work re write 3 . 18.03.2026.pdf

Hello, I just looked at your piece “war born”. Just to get the bad news out of the way the score was presented kind of messy with a bunch of overlapping symbols. Honestly, this isn’t a huge problem musically.

Anyways, orchestration wise, there was a bunch of very interesting textures and a lot of other cool things happening. One thing I noticed that there was a use of some synthesizer. You may want to turn those down a bit as that they were kind of burying everything underneath them.

You can hear this is a very loud piece of music, especially with the distortion that sometimes is achieved with this (my own work “ sonic diarrhea” actually ran into this problem, but this was just because of having the master mixer on max, which could easily be fixed by making it back to normal). Anyways, awesome work well done.