"Unread Letters" - Kyle Hilton (UncleRed99) Seeking feedback for improvement

The idea for this composition was inspired by @MK_Piano, after he sent me some footage of himself improvising in C minor on piano. I asked him if I could write something inspired by what he played, and was graciously allowed to do so.

The piece utilizes a steady quarter note / eighth note moving rhythm and melody that symbolizes the passing of time during, and the emotional feelings felt in periods of contemplation, longing, rumination, and/or sorrowful reflection.

Although, I feel as though it may be a bit too repetative, despite having variation in both rhythm, chord voicing, chord progression choice, including a modulation towards the end. I'm seeking to build upon the ideas I have in this score, more effectively. Any suggestions are welcome :)

Unread Letters.pdf

This is really lovely! I especially love the melodic ideas.
However, I agree that it feels a little repetitive at times, particularly before 3:22. I listened without the score, so I can't give much feedback on the harmony itself.

From a listener's perspective, I think the piece could benefit from a few more changes in texture here and there. Nothing too obvious, so as not to disrupt the contemplative mood. For example, I really loved the change of texture at 3:22. More moments like that, might help reduce the sense of repetition while still maintaining its contemplative flow.

In particular, at 1:52, I found myself wanting to hear the melody an octave higher (perhaps doubled in octaves). As it stands, it presents a variation of the main theme in the same register, and my ears were asking for a change in tessitura at that point.

This is really beautiful and an orchestral version would be so beautiful too! Orchestrating it would also give you lots of chances to add variety with the instrumental colors.

Thanks for sharing!

14 hours ago, JorgeDavid said:

This is really lovely! I especially love the melodic ideas.
However, I agree that it feels a little repetitive at times, particularly before 3:22. I listened without the score, so I can't give much feedback on the harmony itself.

From a listener's perspective, I think the piece could benefit from a few more changes in texture here and there. Nothing too obvious, so as not to disrupt the contemplative mood. For example, I really loved the change of texture at 3:22. More moments like that, might help reduce the sense of repetition while still maintaining its contemplative flow.

In particular, at 1:52, I found myself wanting to hear the melody an octave higher (perhaps doubled in octaves). As it stands, it presents a variation of the main theme in the same register, and my ears were asking for a change in tessitura at that point.

This is really beautiful and an orchestral version would be so beautiful too! Orchestrating it would also give you lots of chances to add variety with the instrumental colors.

Thanks for sharing!

Thank you for your feedback! And I'm glad it was overall enjoyable to you :)

I have one question though... When you say "Change of Texture at 3:22" are you referring to the Key change? And that you suggest that there should be more modulations? I fear modulating too much may throw listeners for a loop, no?

1 hour ago, UncleRed99 said:

Thank you for your feedback! And I'm glad it was overall enjoyable to you :)

I have one question though... When you say "Change of Texture at 3:22" are you referring to the Key change? And that you suggest that there should be more modulations? I fear modulating too much may throw listeners for a loop, no?

There is a key change but, I was meaning mostly the change of tessitura and texture (in that particular instance, besides changing the key, you leave large gaps between the accompaniment and the melody, which contrasts with the previous measures in which the G staff was clustered with notes).

What I meant around 1:50 was not a modulation, but rather a change in tessitura for the melody. I might be wrong, but the same melody is played for the first time around the 00:59 mark, which, at the same time, is a variation of the main melody with which the piece starts.

As a result, while my ear does not ask for a key change (the initial Cmin chords from m.34 sound perfectly nice to me), when the G5 sounds, yet once more, somehow my ear is tired of hearing the melody always in that range. I think, at that point, it would really make it much fresher playing the melody an octave higher or even in a bass (with the melody played below the Cmaj accompaniment chord), starting it in G6 or G3.

For example, this is a fast draft I made of the initial measures when played an octave higher. Since the melody has already being played in around G5 for a few times, it might make it fresher going up an octave like this. The melody has some fast notes at times, so it cannot be played in octaves easily, but something like this might work at times.

Hope it helps!

1 hour ago, JorgeDavid said:

There is a key change but, I was meaning mostly the change of tessitura and texture (in that particular instance, besides changing the key, you leave large gaps between the accompaniment and the melody, which contrasts with the previous measures in which the G staff was clustered with notes).

What I meant around 1:50 was not a modulation, but rather a change in tessitura for the melody. I might be wrong, but the same melody is played for the first time around the 00:59 mark, which, at the same time, is a variation of the main melody with which the piece starts.

As a result, while my ear does not ask for a key change (the initial Cmin chords from m.34 sound perfectly nice to me), when the G5 sounds, yet once more, somehow my ear is tired of hearing the melody always in that range. I think, at that point, it would really make it much fresher playing the melody an octave higher or even in a bass (with the melody played below the Cmaj accompaniment chord), starting it in G6 or G3.

For example, this is a fast draft I made of the initial measures when played an octave higher. Since the melody has already being played in around G5 for a few times, it might make it fresher going up an octave like this. The melody has some fast notes at times, so it cannot be played in octaves easily, but something like this might work at times.

Hope it helps!

Thank you for the clarification :) I will consider it moving forward and update with any changes!

@JorgeDavid So something like this...? (Screen recording converted to MP3 of b.26 - b.49)