My second Composition :D

Not much to say, I just wanted to show my work and see if other have a word about it. I felt like it was a bit overextended after measure 78, I'm not sure what should I do with it as shortening it will make it sound wrong and not right.

C1.pdf

I enjoyed listening to this. I’m far from the best person to analyze other people’s music, but here are some thoughts on what I heard.

First, I think you should just call this f minor and write it as such. Phrygian dominant would have a g flat, I believe. (But I haven’t worked with modes in years and you might have a different reason for not putting this is f minor.) Add accidentals for the natural minor as needed. It will still give the sound you are looking for and make it much easier for a piano player to read. Also, is that a tie on the top note of each pair of notes on beats 2 and 3? It doesn’t sound like it is in the recording. I think they are not necessary and I found them distracting when playing through the piece.

I like the themes. They are pleasing to the ear, at least to mine. There could probably be a little more variety. Measures 13-14 do reverse the direction of the tune, but it’s still rhythmically the same, and I wonder if that is giving enough sense of “new material”. Also, it’s in the same key. (This is a problem I have writing music — trying to keep things familiar but not beating any dead horses). How about putting something in a related key, maybe a major or try reversing measures 13 and 14, so you would have the new phrase start with three quarter notes. How about putting in some theme that has wider intervals. You have mostly step-wise motion the whole way through with the exception of a few jumps in the octave section. I think measure 39 and following have the more successful new material. Good variety but the key is still intact, so it’s provides some connection (again, for my ears, can’t speak for others).

Maybe don’t use repeats for measures 63 / E section. The listeners’ ears will be well-familiar with the ideas by that point.

Finally, I vote for an authentic cadence to at the end. It sounds unfinished.

Like I said, just some thoughts I had.

On 11/1/2026 at 3:09 AM, Brs said:

I enjoyed listening to this. I’m far from the best person to analyze other people’s music, but here are some thoughts on what I heard.

First, I think you should just call this f minor and write it as such. Phrygian dominant would have a g flat, I believe. (But I haven’t worked with modes in years and you might have a different reason for not putting this is f minor.) Add accidentals for the natural minor as needed. It will still give the sound you are looking for and make it much easier for a piano player to read. Also, is that a tie on the top note of each pair of notes on beats 2 and 3? It doesn’t sound like it is in the recording. I think they are not necessary and I found them distracting when playing through the piece.

I like the themes. They are pleasing to the ear, at least to mine. There could probably be a little more variety. Measures 13-14 do reverse the direction of the tune, but it’s still rhythmically the same, and I wonder if that is giving enough sense of “new material”. Also, it’s in the same key. (This is a problem I have writing music — trying to keep things familiar but not beating any dead horses). How about putting something in a related key, maybe a major or try reversing measures 13 and 14, so you would have the new phrase start with three quarter notes. How about putting in some theme that has wider intervals. You have mostly step-wise motion the whole way through with the exception of a few jumps in the octave section. I think measure 39 and following have the more successful new material. Good variety but the key is still intact, so it’s provides some connection (again, for my ears, can’t speak for others).

Maybe don’t use repeats for measures 63 / E section. The listeners’ ears will be well-familiar with the ideas by that point.

Finally, I vote for an authentic cadence to at the end. It sounds unfinished.

Like I said, just some thoughts I had.

I tweaked it a little bit, there wasn't any bright idea for the E section, so I just made it a bit familiar with the previous section and making some thin connection to the segno. The tie-on top of the chords wasn't a tie, but a slur, after you mentioned that, those slur does looks like a tie, so I deleted those. Now the paper sheet looks clean and neat. About the scale, when creating this, I tried to play the Phrygian scale and change it a bit, and after searching on the internet, turns out it was a Phyrgian dominant scale.

I'm still confused with the ending cadence variation, So I just moved one notes down to make it sounds like a finish. I think I have hit the limit of my current musical imagination.

C1-1.pdf