THE LUCID Main Titles...

Very rarely do I do a piece that sounds EXACTLY like I wanted it to sound. This is going to be a the Main Titles theme for a film I am currently writing. About a man who is a narcoleptic and has the powerful ability to Lucid dream. He has a incredible adventure that involves an extraterrestrial entity and it involves his power to Lucid dream. There is also a romantic triangle between him an alien entity and a girl he fell in love with working in a hospital.

Here it is...

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I liked the first part. Sort of a cross between floating Donnie Darko piano stuff and sinister The Shining style minimalist ostinatos.

Part 2 I found a little mashed. Lots of similar notes bunched together, which has the effect of obscuring the chord movements. Perhaps you intended to create something claustrophobic sounding, though. A syncopated, driving bassline would also complement the drum beat. Other than that, quite solidly put together.

The whole thing could benefit from travelling around a little more harmonically. I know it's incidental music, so it has the "right" to be repetitive, but I was listening out for a killer modulation and it never surfaced, which I think is a shame since it's good material.

I liked the first part. Sort of a cross between floating Donnie Darko piano stuff and sinister The Shining style minimalist ostinatos.

Part 2 I found a little mashed. Lots of similar notes bunched together, which has the effect of obscuring the chord movements. Perhaps you intended to create something claustrophobic sounding, though. A syncopated, driving bassline would also complement the drum beat. Other than that, quite solidly put together.

The whole thing could benefit from travelling around a little more harmonically. I know it's incidental music, so it has the "right" to be repetitive, but I was listening out for a killer modulation and it never surfaced, which I think is a shame since it's good material.

Very right my friend.

But I think as the beginning titles, I wanted it to stay somewhat static in melody...and the claustrophic feeling is exactly correct. The bassline I was contemplating...I might try some out.

In terms of different harmonies, I really want to save that for some of the other pieces in the soundtrack, I have some ideas that will be pretty killer I believe.

All in all, thanks alot for taking the time to reply and I will definitely think about what you said.

Yeah, i'm not a fan of the bassline either. it doesn't sound good with the other stuff, and is some what distracting.

I have to agree Mike, there is too much in part 2 to make it sound 'right'. I think it would definetly pay off to highlight the chord movements rather than the inharmonies. I was really hoping to hear expansiveness from the chords, cause the whole piece makes me feel like I'm floating. Which I like a lot, it's brilliant.

Yeah, i'm not a fan of the bassline either. it doesn't sound good with the other stuff, and is some what distracting.

I have to agree Mike, there is too much in part 2 to make it sound 'right'. I think it would definetly pay off to highlight the chord movements rather than the inharmonies. I was really hoping to hear expansiveness from the chords, cause the whole piece makes me feel like I'm floating. Which I like a lot, it's brilliant.

Hmm interesting. I wanted part 2 to seem somewhat conflicted and chaotic without losing too much of them original theme established in part 1.

I tried to add an erratic string section there...not sure if I fully achieved that.

Thank you taking the time to listen. I didnt have a bassline in here, so I am wondering which part you think is distracting.

I glad you liked the feel.

er, sorry, it's some organ instrument that plays an ostinato. nevermind, i understand why its in there. make sure to send me a link to the movie if you post it online, assuming it's an amateur file. :whistling:

I really enjoyed the first half of this, although I must agree with the others on the 2nd half. The drums didn't really work for me, maybe try a more prominent bassline instead of drums, or maybe percussion that isn't comprised of the standard kick/snare/hi hats. Just a few ideas. The piano in the first half is beautiful though, nice work with that.

its very nice material, few things I pondered/ maybe you might want to ponder about the piece.

1. Transitions? do you want the "sections" as other members have deemed them or is it supposed to be one continuous piece? this is especially questionable between the first and second sections, I knew exactly when you were setting up the second section but the way you got into it could def. use some work, possibly by decresc. to where you did then bring it back up with the ostinato (sp?) and build into the second section, especially since the second section is more rhythmically active. same goes for the other sections, think about what mood you're going to/ coming from.

2. The drum figure in the second section. Its ok, but I think its too repetitive given the amount of other repetitive material being used in that section, its also too loud, kinda hard to hear the melodic ideas you're working with. so possibly consider tweaking the rhythm, and if not, just bring the drum part down so its not so overpowering.

thats about it, I really like the main motifs you used they're great, and the different sounds you're working with blend very well with each other, I think a few tweaks here and there will make this piece awesome for a film theme. Hope to hear more soon

Thanks everyone for the great advice. I am still relatively new to composing. Just starting around 6 months ago. These all are very sound ideas and I will try to incorporate them as best I can. Thank you!

I don't have any new criticism to add but I really think the material here is great

I don't have any new criticism to add but I really think the material here is great

Thanks for taking the time to listen, FooFoo.:cool:

It's not a matter of fairness with giving feedbacks, it's courtesy, and I just prefer to play balls my way. Don't take it the hard way, I'm just not very much of a reviewer.

Everything sounds good I guess, a little repetitive, but I wouldn't care about the repetitiveness all that much had I been watching the main titles as opposed to listening to it only. The drum and bass doesn't work, and it's not because it's doesn't belong. It's a good addition to the piece, but generally there's a deficiency in the mixing and mastering. The acoustics just isn't right. And the fact that the drums loop over and over again without any variation is a tad irritating. And then there's the solo string instrument, you might want to check the amp modifiers (if there's any) or apply one yourself to fix the attacks. Otherwise, it might just be how you quantized your tracks. Again, bad mixing here, you can barely hear the solo string.

And this piece is a bit long. Usually main titles don't go over 2~3 minutes, unless this is like a 3 hour feature film, I think you should talk to the film maker. Of course, if this was for a documentary where the part after the silence dives into the beginning of the documentary, then it might work.

Don't take my review for granted, I'm not a professional either, but that's as much as I can give you.

I agree with these guys, some very nice ideas going on at first. They need some development though, modulations, counter melodies, q and a phrasing etc... and... get someone to play the violins for you! It will make a massive difference!