A Fairytale

This is a short piano piece, which is called "A Fairytale".

Here are the score and link to mp3:

SoundClick artist: Ascold2007 - page with MP3 music downloads

Fairytale.pdf

Pleasant little piece, Ascold, with a lurking Brahmsian quality - hemiola and.... a subconscious reference to the last movement of the Violin Concerto in mss 3 and 4 before the end?

One or two suggestions. Your notation goes against what the ear perceives (as well as being a bit awkward in the beat divisions). The ear hears 6/8, or even 12/8 (with necessary adjustments), but definitely eighth note motion, divided according to a duple triplet structure (in 6/8 that would be 2 groups of 3).

To what does the "staccato" refer in ms 1? Only the first chord? You continue with slurs, which conflicts with staccato. Choose which notes you want staccato and mark them with staccato points. Also, we don't hear your indicated dynamics or the ritard before the first double bar. Do you really want them?

The harmonies don't travel far, and the motive is rather basic, but this doesn't bother, as the momentum carries the piece. I'd like to hear a key change at the double bar. After all, your title says "tale", so we may expect a bit more of a journey, even if in miniature.

Measure 6 after the double bar sounds a bit weak. Give it a closer listen and see if you can make it fit better (or not, if you are happy with what you have, of course!).

Mss. 9-13 after the double bar are nice and "swingy".

Are you aware that you play (or notated) a wrong note (in the repeat as well) in the third measure after the double bar? You play G in the upper voice of the third RH eighth note instead of F sharp.

Your last chord rises up from the depths of the piano, and is rather difficult. If you don't want to bring the left hand up an octave, at least think about deleting the octave skip in the left hand, or don't roll it at all and end with an "Alkan slap" (just play solid chords in the lower and upper octaves you have written... semi-staccato, accented and unpedaled.)

How about adding some more movements of similar scale?

wow, i loved this!!!!! perfect balance and sense of form, an adorable atmosphere and engaging energy! the rhythmic pattern is also so nicely designed!! really loved, it's a little jewel!

Fairly decent playback.

This should definitely be written in 6/8, not 4/4, although because you were trying to make 6/8 fit into 4/4 you have inadvertently come up with some nice 2/4 over 6/8 feeling bits.

You write staccato at the start, but then you proceed to slur notes almost every time you get a chance. A note specifically about slurs: bar 3, and parallel places, you slur over rests. This is not feasible on the piano, and at that tempo. If you want pedal, indicate pedal, but you cannot slur AND lift off, which is what a rest indicates. I am assuming your slur here isn't a phrasing mark, as it isn't anywhere else.

If the piece were any longer than it is, I would suggest moving into another key (apart from the relative minor) for a while. There are very few accidentals in the piece.. staying in one key for too long can lead to boredom. You managed to avoid that here, but only just.

I like the general mood, and I like some of the phrasing. (I like for example the build-up to, and pause on that high A).

Also, avoid using thick chords in the low register - they sound muddy and indefinite. If you are writing that low, use octaves or single notes.

Anyway, this was a quite pleasant piece. I suggest you have another go, but writing in 6/8, and maybe try and improve on this, or expand on this. Or just start a new piece bearing these things in mind.

Thank you all for comments, I'll improve it