In Those Eyes - Power Ballad

This is a song I have been writing on and off for almost a year now, and I finally pulled it out and decided to finish it. The lyrics were written first by a lady friend of mine and I offered to set it to music. As things went along I tweaked things here and there and haven't quite told her about it yet. Anyway, this is just my disclaimer; I take no responsibility and want no criticism about the lyrics themselves. I want your opinion on what I set them to; the music, the rhythm, the, yeah, that stuff.

Also keep in mind, I am not a drummer nor have I ever played drums, and Finale 2008's Drum Set drove me insane trying to find things that came close to working. I only take partial responsibility for that.

And if, uh, anyone can explain to me how the crescendo/decrescendo tool is supposed to work, that would be very beneficial, also. And...can violins actually go that high?

Thanks

Lyrics (Purely for your entertainment, mind you)

What is this feeling I have inside?

Hurtful words spoken, but I know we're still tight

You say you don't love me but that you care

Everyone says we'd be the perfect pair

You're the tingling in my skin that haunts me inside

Your smile so tenderly touches the sky

Your hands, your hands jitter to unknown beats

You don't know, I don't know

What this means

I want to be better in your eyes

I want to see the better me after all these lies

Lies about me

They all get to you

Lies about my life only I know aren't true

You are in my dreams so dear

It is never you that I fear

You make it so easy to turn to Him above

After my floods of forty

You're my dove

My life's never easy, 'cause life's never fair, but

Life without you friend

I wouldn't dare

You are my rose among the many thorns

You are the sun that will rise in the morn

I want to be better in your eyes

I want to see the better me after all these lies

Lies about me

They all get to you

Lies about my life only I know aren't true

Rumors spreading round and round and

All I want to do is be better for you

All I want to do is be better in your eyes

All I want to do is be better for you

All I want to do is to be better in those eyes

No more lies

AuroraEyes.MID

AuroraEyes.MUS

The music is fine: the melody is nice, and the accompaniment is varied and lively. What's you're missing is a solid rhythm section, to give it the rock 'n' roll drive that you're looking for. You're going to want a bass guitar part, and possibly a rhythm guitar, and you're also going to want to write a better drum part.

For the drum part, start with a bass drum on the downbeat, and a snare drum on the upbeat, and then have the hi-hats doing something: straight eighth notes if you can't think of anything else. This is your basic rhythm, which all rock is based on. Start from there, and then spice it up however you want.

For the bass part, you can get away with something simple: steady eighth notes on the root of the chord, or something like that. If you want to write a livelier bassline, though, it certainly can never hurt.

I agree with nhomas on the need of a driving beat, but I'm concerned with your strings.

You had a lot of double stops and the occasional triple stop in your violin parts, which, to my limited knowledge, are hard to pull off smoothly and make it sound more "accented." I'd split those up into Vln. I/II, or maybe have divisi. Divisi will make it smoother, I think, but will make it softer. As for the question about the range of a violin, I'm not too sure about it, but I think it is possible for them to go that high. Those arpeggios in the second to the last measure with the octave double stops will be hard to play I think, so yeah, I suggest you split them up with Vln. II or use a divisi. When Vln. I starts those arpeggios, it might make a nice effect to have the other strings tremolo their notes, or maybe play eighth or sixteenth notes, idk. It's fine as is, though.

Or, you could write it for a synth with a string voice and lessen complications, but I think the string ensemble would sound better.

You might want to look into putting part of your piano parts into the suggested guitar sections, because some of the parts are hard to do because, depending on the length of the pianist's fingers, they can extend to around ten steps (like C to E), and it gets harder because of the chords being played.

I don't know many singers who can go that high at the end (maybe Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston, haha), but a rule of thumb is that an A above the staff is usually the highest? You may want to ask about that, I'm not entirely sure.

Overall, I liked it. The chord progression and the melody worked nicely. I liked the little string feature in the middle.

Thanks for the rock lesson, that will come in handy. I'll add a bass part for sure and revamp the drum part, maybe talk to some people who actually play the instruments and make them more satisfying.

Yes, I definitely meant to divisi (and/or bring in the other part on) those string parts. This is just what happens when laziness meets computers.

So, would it be better to pitch the voice part low? Like, an F# below the staff at certain points, would that be better than the high D? I'm inclined to say so, just because the mood is much more alto (or contra, at that), than a higher-pitched soprano really conveys. But what would your opinions be?