Part of.. (Help my with my Halcyon style)

Dear everyone. I'm CR and I come from Vietnam. That's the song I composed and played it myself when I was in grade 9 (14 year olds). That's , in my opinion, including so many common mistake in Music :| But somehow, hope you all will help me improve.

Thank you so much.

CR

zSHARE - part of my heart.mp3

it's sweet.

you could try varying the harmonies instead of using the same sequence of chords through all the song. only if you feel appropiate, though.

in my opinion, including so many common mistake in Music

is it your opinion or your guess? if you feel it has something wrong, work on it until you feel it's fine. if you only guess that it should have some mistakes because you lack expereince/knowledge - it's ok, just continue composing and you'll improve. listen to the music you like and try to see what exactly you like about it, and maybe what your own lacks in that respect.

it's sweet.

you could try varying the harmonies instead of using the same sequence of chords through all the song. only if you feel appropiate, though.

is it your opinion or your guess? if you feel it has something wrong, work on it until you feel it's fine. if you only guess that it should have some mistakes because you lack experience/knowledge - it's ok, just continue composing and you'll improve. listen to the music you like and try to see what exactly you like about it, and maybe what your own lacks in that respect.

Firstly, thank you so much for your opinion. I'll try my best to improve, especially to compose with a variety of harmonies, that helps !

However, I think the mistakes were on the rhythm, the recording mistake, ok well , i will make it more appealing.

Again, thanks :D

I think the mistakes were on the rhythm, the recording mistake

i think the performance is just fine :) well, even if there where a couple, i haven't noticed (and wasn't looking for them on purpose, of course)

by the way, as it is a song, singing it should also add variety to the sound. you would have to change the right hand in that case though (so that vocal part and right hand are not identical).

Thank Michael. I'll master my piano skill and change it in advance :D.