My attempt at Orchestral

Here's a piece I've been tendering to, clocking at a current 5 minutes long. At the point of 4:40, the song builds up for an ultimate yet-made 3 minute long finale.

All critique is appreciated, for the final version is not far away, and improvements await.

Latest: http://longebane.aoikokoro.net/archieve/Flames%20of%20the%20Impenetratable%20Hearte.mp3

Old: http://www.aoikokoro.net/longebane/archiev...us%20Hearte.mp3

I'll listen to this when I get home. I'm looking forward to it (there are no speakers on this computer). So you can expect a review soon! ;)

I must say, this is off to a great start. I can't wait to hear the grand finale as well. Could you post the score?

Very modern, and I think it is because of that that many of my critisms are nullified. Nonetheless, it is an interesting piece. Not my kind of music that doesn't mean it isn't good. Your instrumentation is good, and since this is modern (and in modern music, usually the only thing that matters is the sound texture) it probably doesn't apply. I think it needs more form, although it almost ended in the way it began. I maybe would have ended 30 seconds earlier but it had a good ending.

I don't think this piece needs a finale. I think it quite good on its own and a finale would probably change the mood of this piece too much for the worse.

Good job though and congratulations. Of all the pieces I have heard since I've been on this, this would probably be my favourite.

Longebane, sounds very good.

I can definately picture it in a

film.

Nico, not all have the same taste.

I have insisted to many Bach is the

greatest unrivaled but, if a person

does not like Bach's style or Baroque

they will never agree. J.Br. may listen

to the other composers works here

and still hold to this being his most

favored work he has heard.

Jeremy

This link does not work for me for whatever reason....could you perhaps post an midi, or finale/sib file?

- Jen

My host is down at the moment, I will provide a mirror very soon.

Mirror: http://www.rpgsource.net/longebane/Flames%...us%20Hearte.mp3

I also think you should read a book or two on orchestration, it might help you.

For this being his first orchestral piece, I think the orchestration is kinda cool. I myself couldn't do such stuff. I also like his use of those 8ths in the harp... except in the end part... I don't really like your ending, so I'm waiting for U to post the final version. From the beginning to about 2 minutes this is really enjoyable music, though, so congrats and keep it up.

no problemo Nico...beefybeef, consider that a warning. Inappropriate behavior will not be accepted. Nico's comment was perfectly legitimate and you had absolutely no reason to say what you did.

- Jen

LongeBane, as far as your piece. Very nice :P The choice of instruments is excellent, good contrast. However, about half way through, it became somewhat random and lost my attention a little. If this is really you first orchestral work, then I must say two thumbs up and you have a very bright future!

Excellent!

- Jen

< 2 minutes had a really strong melody which I danced around by varying the instruments. After that though I lost a bit of control to where the song was headed.

what i said was perfectly legit and i have my reasons. i may have quoted the wrong quote. but when you said that LongeBane should read a book or two on orchestration. that just downright pisses me off. you may not have intended the meaning, but to many, it's an insult. and i'll tell you why. one of my professors once failed a student for a poor essay in class. the essay was focused on engineering content, not grammar and english. it wasn't an english course. beside the failing grade, the professor noted, "you should visit the university writing centre". the prof may not have intended that to be demeaning, but the student appealed to the university academic regulation system and the prof was forced to quit because of that comment. remarks like those can get you in trouble. maybe not on here, but it sure implies a negative effect on other readers. i'd be completely pissed off if someone said that to me.

In my opinion, if an essay isn't written properly, it isn't an essay.

That's pretty apalling that the prof had to quit over that.

If you told it how it was.

Watch the language, both of you. I should delete this entire conversation, but I will leave that up to LongeBane since it is his topic.

J.Br. - I actually agree with you :) shocker :)

At university level it doesn't matter if it is an auto mechanics class or honors English 4, it HAS to be written properly. I agree with the professor for giving this person a bad grade, although I probably would not gone as far as to fail them.

All in all, Nico's suggestion was valid, he wasn't rude, he merely suggested that LongeBane read up a little. He has told me to study counterpoint and I thanked him because it helped me a lot! I learn a lot from Nico, and many others here. The reason people come to this site is to promote themselves and get/give advice.

Daniel - I agree.

The professor was right, but maybe a little harsh.

Anyways, this is the last warning - please watch the language. If my information is correct, LongeBane is only 10 or 11 years old, probably one of the youngest here, and does not need to be exposed to foul language.

Thank you.

- Jen

I think beefybeef over-reacted to that book comment. And it's not like I havn't gotten suggestions to read books before.

But it did tick me a bit, I have to admit. I mean, wouldn't it be obvious that if I were interested in this topic, I would go out on my own accord and research orchestration? The way you put it, I mean, you didn't even specify a book Canzano. However, I do see some hint of purpose where you were only trying to "help", even though the gesture was futile.

(and um..I'm not 10. I just wanted to say that for reaction)

I think I may be digging into old and over it, but here it goes.

The middle,

When suggesting someone to read a book, clarify what book.

Such as Try Samuel Adler's book on Orchestration, the techniques used in that are fascinating and really help me clarify what is coming from my head to what to put on paper.

Small offenses are usually caused from carelessness, :D I should do the same...

That must have been someone else I was thinking of with a similar name who was 10 or 11....but still people, the cursing is unnecessary.

I am not pissed off, and no where have I taken negative criticism the wrong way. Somehow you've formulated these weird judgements in your mind about me, when the only real post stating any opinion of mine at ALL is #24. And, I actually already have a book, Adler's, sitting on my lap, with the date of purchase dating 3 years ago, albiet barely read. But thanks (i guess?) for the suggestion for me to buy books.

Also, I am not eleven years old. (That said, "heck you're about at the same level I was(11)" felt a bit condescending. But no offense taken).

This is a fairly dumb conversation. Anyone else going to review his music?

'Ey Longe. I've listened to your other works. This one I didn't like as much as the others, however. I mean, it has a cool style to it, but at around the one minute mark, it almost sounds like a 'Telivision News' song. Maybe you should add a different type of attack to it.

But don't take my word for it. I'm not the best at making music, I'll admit. I just know what I like to hear, and opinions vary.

Good job though, Longe.

This is an interesting piece, to be sure. The piece evokes a battle-like feeling in me, however it also has an "Epic" quality to it.

Is that a triangle that you're using (the constant ding sound)? If so, I do believe that you overuse it somewhat. Reducing the usage will make it more important when it is finally used: this emphases certain passages over overs and certainly adds weight to that individual instrument (in my mind percussion is only useful for emhpasis). Personally, I would use it more sparringly in the form of quarter or half notes during some of the quieter sections. However this is a matter of personal taste, and I'm notorious for my dislike of the over-usage of percussion. If you feel that this is vital to the music, then by all means ignore my comment!

The piece, overall, however was quite good. To be sure, if this is your first piece for full orchestra, then you have done the most splendid of jobs! It shows very much promise for future pieces, and I think that you should keep up the great work, posting your pieces as you go along.

Also, try to take criticism that you receive on this web site with a grain of salt. Most people, although amazing musicians in their genres, are biased towards classical music in the Mozartian sense, and their biases tend to carry over into their reviews. Just keep composing the music that you enjoy ;)

Good work overall!

Hey guys, it's been a while. Most of you probably don't even remember, but anyways, after months of on and off working, I've finally come up with a finished version of my orchestral piece.

I have completed the song at 7:07, and the mp3 is quite hefty, at 10mb. That should scare away all the dialup users. But I believe the download is worth it either way. Enjoy guys~

http://longebane.aoikokoro.net/archieve/Flames%20of%20the%20Impenetratable%20Hearte.mp3

*is a dial-up user*

The piece starts off very nicely, and I personally think that the thin orchestration suits it. However, it does lose your attention after a few minutes, though a piece of this nature would work perfectly in a film where a subtle soundtrack is needed in some scenes which doesn't distract from the dialogue or any other aspect. As a piece in itself, it could benefit from a subtle melody line in the quieter sections, though I guess it's too late since you have already established where you were going with this. It does however have a strong atmospheric quality, something that is very rarely seen with orchestral music, and I definately commend you for being original in this regard.

EDIT: What orchestral libraries are you using? Is this EWQL?

N.S, no offence, but do we need to be constantly reminded that you were scoring orchestral compositions at 11? From most people's perspectives, it just sounds like you're showing off and trying to denounce others.