Need some criticism on my first big piece

Hello everyone! I'm new here I've been lurking around for the past few days reading everything obsessively, and I finally worked up the nerve to post something hoping to be torn apart actually (this thread might be in the wrong section since this is not nearly a complete work if it is I'm terribly sorry and feel free to move it and yell at me :D)

So a few weeks ago, I opened up finale with this little tune in my head. I opened it up and somehow found myself staring at an orchestra template and I haven't been able to stop. I haven't really immersed myself in theory while writing this piece, and i'm not sure if a lot of the four part writing rules apply to full orchestra pieces. parallel fifths, octaves unisons, and all that jazz.

This is more of a sketch then anything totally concrete and I keep changing, and orchestrating and seeing what sounds good playing what and where i can make inversions and such, I'm having so much fun just messing around with this piece and I really could use someone else's opinion my girlfriend is a music education major. and she just doesn't understand my love for creating :(

The main thing I've been thinking about doing is where the french horns, trombones, and bassoons come in after the first little section I have that entire section repeating, and I was thinking about just restating the opening "subject" if you can even call it that. either a 5th up or down from the horns in a different instrument. say cellos or clarinets...

Like I said, I really tried to just disregard all theory and do what I think sounds good. but I still tried to apply little things and I'm getting to the point where I'm ready to just write out a piano sketch about it so I can give it more direction. Because I'm not sure how good this actually sounds and if I just have a lot of self-fulfilling prophecies about what I've been plugging away into finale. And I really could use the opinions of others that have a genuine interest in composition.

Audio:

zSHARE - First Orchestra Piece.wav

Score:

zSHARE - First Orchestra Piece.pdf

Don't mind the 3rd page.. i didn't realize i had all the those empty measures i cleaned that up since then

Hey Bouza,

Welcome!

I would suggest writing a piano reduction or some sort of sketch to give the piece some direction, and then posting it here for comments.

Well put!

I agree with Bolanos on this one

When writing for a large group, i like to start out with two treble staves and two bass staves, and then let it build from there.

Definitly good to plan ahead as well. Where you want the melody in, what instruments are doing what. As well as knowing your key signatures, time signatures, and other ideas.

No such thing as being overprepared!

Welcome, nice music :)

thanks for all the helpful comments! i hope i get to working on this again soon! I recently started writing a quartet that started taking up alot of my time :D

I really liked the timpani accents on the 2nd page - they seemed to fit nicely. I think that this piece could benefit from some modulation -its great as it is on that chord; however, it would make it more interesting to vary the progression and write parts for that:

For example - if you are in C major you could go to G major and then A minor, etc...