Apologies in advance.. (update)

This random piece of... strewn notes on virtual paper represented via software emulation of a piano is...

You just listen to it and confirm to me that it isn't worth finishing in its current state.

Link

Don't ask for the score if you fear messiness.

This is what I've been told can be turned into a fugue. I lost the line on it a while ago and haven't been able to add anything intelligible.

The random rests at the end are to separate other sections made up that don't fit at the end.

Link

This score is cleaner but very plain and probably in the wrong time and key.

New one (same as post 4)

->Link<-

any comments?

The only flaw I hear in the first one is a bit too much repetition in the motif, but you were kind of going for that... I think a bit less strict rhythm in the single note parts would really add to the piece.

Odd jazzy turn...

Get more voices going in the end part, get it as dense as possible.

The organ one is pretty good, actually... kind of almost minimalist in points. Just make your harmonies thicker, take advantage of the organ's sound.

In general, just don't have too many false stops like that... it's alright, but it makes your music seem disconnected

“An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.”

- Steve Martin

Don't apologise like that, seriously.. it doesn't mean people will be more sympathetic towards you. Just post the work, state what it is and what feedback you'd like. You will gain much greater respect by doing that than from apologising profusely to people who don't even know you and haven't even heard the work yet.

I know it's difficult not to be nervous about posting, but when you do people don't think "This person is posting this work because they think it's brilliant", the whole point is to get feedback and support. Don't think you're below everyone else on here. :)

Anyway, about the piece.

I love the opening and you use silence well.

My main issue is that at times it's like a cadenza for a single line instrument, but then again.. when you bring in the left hand it's quite effective, but as already said.. you should get more voices in, it becomes a little too simple and just sounds very incomplete. Not as in the piece itself, I realise you haven't completed it, but the bits you HAVE completed.

Where were you planning on going with it? Is it going to be solo piano the whole way? It could work really well as an introduction leading into a piano trio or something, I think.

For the second piece, I really think you should use the very opening again... Develop that a bit more. Also, for both pieces... your random rests... I thought the silences were intended and thought they were often very effective, too! Especially in the organ piece at around 1.24, mainly because I sort of thought it was losing direction or getting a bit dull.. and then it suddenly just stops... and then starts again.

Anyway, I think with the organ piece you should use the opening material again and then find somewhere else to go so interest isn't lost.

Hope some of this was helpful.

Camilla

Thanks for the replies! I'll update those sometime. I just started this today Link

any comments?

I liked the organ piece. It sounded good you could use the first opening theme in the organ piece to compose a fugue, i liked the subject! Very nice :)