New Orchestral Work - Please Opine

Following the advice of a few on here, I have worked on my orchestrational problems (largely, taking the tips provided in the Masterclass on here into count). The attached piece is a practice in orchestration. Please comment if you view, thanks.

you're a very fast learner.

this is quite a massive improvement in orchestration.

my only commnet vis-a-vis would be that when you get to a rally loud tutti passage, you might consider having your woodwinds play in a still brighter part of their register, that way they will balance more against the brass, as well as add light and some bite to the sound.

musically, I think you need some work.

you seem to think in terms of block chords, where melodic (horizontal) material comes in as an after-thought.

I would really like to see you work on developing melodic material, rather than these endless runs of scales.

even your "slow" material seems to be made of scalar fragments.

I agree with QcCowboy... I can't really discern a real melody here. It's all just very nice accompaniment... :).

I'd like to be clear about something: when I say "melodic material" I don't mean "a melody over an accompaniment", but rather using thematic material (horizontal cells, themes, motifs) as foundation material for the construction of your orchestral textures.

I knew what you meant... I tend to oversimplify things sometimes because the differences between some things are not really that important to me. In the big picture it's the same idea.

Anyway, I stand by with what I said, and think that jawoodruff's piece would serve as a great accompaniment to any melody, theme, or collection of horizontal cells... :)

Thank you for the comments.

I wasn't trying to go for melodic work in this piece - just working on the orchestration. However, I did do something I most never do, if you listen to the opening celli and bass parts, that is the main thematic material for the piece. The strings come in doubling and adding counterpoint to it (with the first violin resting on the G). After the brass and strings tutti, the woodwinds come in (and at measure 23 the melody returns in the cello and bass, double with bassoon.) Clarinet and Viola do counterpoint over the melody, bringing it up to tutti climax. After the key change, the oboe and clarinet play a variant on the melodic material at measure 43 (presented first in the counterpoint from the viola at measure 28). I would've done more with it, BUT, I wanted to focus primarily on the orchestration itself.

Jason

Update: new orchestration practice:

I took into account the melodic/thematic developments mention by QC. For this next piece, the thematic material is comprised of two different motives.

The structure is a very abridged sonata-allegro (in that, I have a brief introduction, short exposition, development, modulatory recap, and no coda.)

The harmonic language is, I think, simple... I tried to limit the excessive modulations that permeate my work to this point - and probably deter from it, I assume. I also used a much smaller orchestra size to help achieve more thematic unity with my ideas (my thought is to dimish the size of the orchestra in hopes of focusing more on the musical aspects themselves as opposed to orchestrational challenges.)

I also tried very, VERY hard not to have scalar material in the piece... (note: for me, I find use of scales as a very good melodic essence - and VERY interesting, that is why I love much of Mozart, Beethoven (used extensively in quite a number of his symphonies - no. 7 being my favorite).

I think my one problem, and I could be wrong on this, is my use of harmony. As I stated in another post, I don't care for many of the precepts of Common Practice harmonic construction etc... but, I love the purity of sound that was achieved using the major/minor systems. In the past, I worked on a harmonic system based on Phrygian modes - something I moved away from due to boredom working in such a limited construct. In short, so I don't seem to long winded here, for this piece I tried to focus on more classical ideas in the above mentioned areas.... hopefully to further my compositional ability.

Thanks for Listening.