Snow and Roses

This is an a cappella piece I wrote several months ago. It's not fantastic, but it does exhibit a purpose. I stole Vaughn Williams' idea of using Robert Louis Stevenson as the poet of the text. Take the time to read the text, as it is quite beautiful. Constructive critcism is more than welcome. I respond vitrually only to criticism. Finale is needed to open the file, I don't know how to make a PDF.

To you, let snow and roses

And golden locks belong

These are the world's enslavers,

Let these delight the throng

For here of duskier lustre

Whose favor still I wear

The snow be in her kertle,

The rose be in here hair!

The hue of highland rivers,

Careering full and cool

From rapid on to pool

The hue of heather-honey

The hue of honey-bees

Shall gild her golden shoulder

Shall gild her tawny knees

Snow and Roses.MUS

Hello Travis..

You're right. Nice text. Sounds melancholy to me.

First of all I would like to ask why did you add a piano part on the score? Is it for the rehearsal? Then maybe you forgot to add notes to it.

m2> it's not common to cut words and let other part to complete an entire phrase. (To you, let --- and roses. )

m4-5> I'm trying to sing it, but it sounds like...ro-se-e-eh-ss (am I wrong?) If that is it, then I think it will never sound good to a listener. And you do this several times in the the whole song.

m11> unresolved dissonant chord

I just see it only this moment so maybe you can give me more time to review this. I think you want to change the consecutive usage of the Em chord just to make variety. You stick repeatedly on your style, it's good but you can also make surprises by leading the listener to other way.

On the other part, I think you are successful to tell what you want to express. Love the suspension on m13. Sorry for being analytic. Welcome to :yc:

You can download a free software in the internet to convert the file to pdf format.

Hello James. Where to begin? Well, the piano part I added orginally yes as for rehearsal, however I must be stupid because Finale has seemed unyielding to let two independent rythmns exist in the same staff. It's there because I'm lazy.

You are right in the consistant melismatic phrasing of words like "roses"...I know its akward but I wrote this a long time ago and at the time it seemed right since it was such an important word in the text and because 'eh' is an open, resonant vowel in singing. I don't remember why I have so much usage of an Eminor chord, I think because I forced myself to remain as diatonic as possible otherwise every chord would be a cluster of ninths and suspended fourths.

To be honest I don't plan on re-editing/changing this now. I wrote awhile ago and posted it for the hell of it, since it was one of the first pieces I wrote that actually accomplished something. I'll post more of my stuff later. Thanks!

A lot of the harmony seemed meandering and directionless, making the piece as a whole sound like it just hovered around e minor. And there's nothing wrong with sus4s and 9ths - they can add a wealth of color and variety to a piece. TRY IT. VITAMIN WATER. TRY IT.