Revelation for Wind Symphony/Concert Band

Hello!

I wrote this piece last year.

Please provide constructive criticism.

It is entitled Revelation and is loosely inspired by the last book of the Bible.

Finale - Revelation.MUS - File Shared from Box.net - Free Online File Storage

mp3 - Revelation Full Audio.mp3 - File Shared from Box.net - Free Online File Storage

Note: playback on the percussion break on the mp3 is screwed up. To hear just percussion break use this link:

Percussion Break.WAV - File Shared from Box.net - Free Online File Storage

Welcome to YC.

I am not a band person, so I won't try to delve into critiquing this piece as it would only show my ignorance. I also cannot comment on the score since I do not have Finale. I suggest you get a free pdf printer such as primopdf and use that to post your scores.

I will however give you a tip concerning the forum. The best way to get people to notice your music and comment in your posts is to listen and comment on other's works. There are a number of members here that will return the favor and comment in your threads.

Ron

Seconding the .pdf request; the standard here is midi/mp3 and a pdf score, in addition to any software files you might have.

Now, the piece. First off, nice job overall. This feels like a decently solid piece for perhaps a high school level ensemble to pull off, with some fun meter changes and all to throw a bit of a challenge every now and then.

Some specifics:

1. You need to consolidate some of your percussion staves. I don't know if you're a percussionist, but generally one percussionist can handle multiple instruments. About half of your score is percussion, most of which isn't playing for a large portion of the piec. This needs to be cut way down into "Percussion 1-5" (for example) plus timpani. You'll have to put some extra thought into this as well, making sure instrument changes and movements around the stage are practical for a given amount of time.

2. M.122; I think you want "sfz" as subito forte isn't really...a term.

3. In Finale (don't know about allegro, but regular finale '07), there's a way to have 7/8 with 8th notes grouped into 2, 2, 3 which would be way better visually than having them all separate like you have now.

4. Why a measure of 8/8? Why? Why why why?

5. I'm not 100% on that ending. It's not satisfying, nor does it really feel like the end of the book Revelation. The build up is fairly static, as (for me) you repeated the same line way too many times for it to carry any real momentum, and then it just...plop, ends. Maybe the last time you do that lick, slow it down and harmonize it really powerfully, or something. Just overall the build up at the end didn't work.

6. The percussion breaks: too much, I think. At least have some sort of back-and-forth or something, where there's a big statement from percussion, answered by the winds. I think that would be a lot more attention-grabbing.

7. Maybe it's the finale playback (it usually is), but this feels very static harmonically. Like, I didn't get any significant bass movement, or something. I dunno. THere just wasn't any...journey, if you will. I didn't start somewhere and end up somewhere else. I don't really know, this is an aesthetic call and I'd really need to hear it live to be sure.

That's all I got on a listen-through. Certainly a good piece as is, but I feel like with a bit of streamlining and/or spicing up harmonically, this piece could be much more powerful, and given what you're trying to portray here, I'd say power is what you want.

Thank you for the wonderful suggestions Dev.

I have known about combining the percussion staves, but just have not got down to it.

I'm using Allegro and if there is a way to group 7/8 into 2, 2, 3, I am unaware of it.

When I learned theory, I learned about 8/8 as 3+3+2.

What do you mean too much on the percussion? Too long? I don't understand.

the ryhtmic motion is too stable . try to change the motive's rhythm

dark-angel