Water Balloons (Parts I, II, and III)

This is a three movement piece that starts with a build up to a moving wall of sound. The second movement is a nice breath of air and the third movement has a lot of hidden minimalism.

Water Balloons (Parts I, II, and III)

Although a bit cliche (nothing new, really), this is really great work. I can't speak about orchestration, since I've only dealt with small groups mostly, but from what I can tell you've put a lot of thought into your work. :]

This piece sounds fantastic, I like how you've used the whole band at different beat in the bar to create flowing melodies with textured accompaniments. The melodies are smooth and magical, I loved it! I'm not quite sure I understand the title though, maybe it's because I'm picturing more of a fight? I think this more speaks for the freezing and melting of water, or maybe a water balloon exploding in slow motion so that it's lovely? Also, I think this would do better in concert and marching band, as it looks like something for wind ensemble do to lack of strings, and add-in of extras like piccolo and saxophone.

The one thing I would suggest it to make the parts different. You did well with chords in the first part, but I found part two and three to be more copy pasted, with parts one and two (and three where applicable) almost always the same notes. The exceptions were how sometimes two firsts would be the same and two seconds would be the same. I'd add more harmony. You have great counterpoint, and harmony in sections (eg: the trombone, horn, clarinet, flute chords were fantastic, but not the flute chord) but the parts need to be more distinguished.

Thanks for sharing such a wonderful piece!

Amos,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for posting. This is really great work, and it's not often that you get an ambient piece in band literature. I don't have any critiques on your harmonies (other than what impresario mentions above) and orchestration (you seem to know what you're doing), so here are a couple of things with the score. Did you have a reason for using double fermatas in measure 2? If not cut it back to one fermata. In measures 23-25, it is best to remove one beam in the middle of every beat so that the sixteenth note triplets are actually in two groups of 3 with each grouping easily understood as an eighth note. Or you could get rid of two triplets per beat and change it to one 6-tuplet. What you choose will depend on the type of phrasing you are going for. Then once you remove some minor collisions your score will be impeccable. Any chance that you'll get this performed live?

Thanks for all the thoughts! This piece will be performed at a concert in May. It will be a bit of a different version though. More of a Band version. I have also revised how the intro is written. I will upload a new score as soon as it is done. The double fermata was my way of saying hold this longer than you would one fermata. My teacher(who will be conduction the piece in may) and I realized that the whole intro needs to be different sections with fermatas. Looking forward to talking with all of you more.

The title "Water Balloons" has nothing at all to do with anything more than the day I started writing this my daughter and I had our first water balloon fight. Most all of my pieces have names that don't really have to do with anything. I think "Band piece #1 in A Major" sounds a bit dull.

I like the imagery type writing here. It is quite pleasant throughout. I am glad that your use of percussion is not snare/cymbal/timpani/bass drum heavy, though I feel you could have used more percussion throughout in creative manners. Very dreamy sounding work here. I think this would be appreciated by the players and audience. However, I think that some of the players may get very bored with the excess of held notes. One more thing, the score is very nice, but loose the big Water Balloons text on every page.

Benxiwf...thanks for your kind words! I am in the process of doing a little bit of a different arrangement for a performance of the piece in may. I agree about using a bit more percussion but I am not totally sure where. Any thoughts? I also agree about the players getting bored holding out the notes but that is how it is in my head. Thanks again.

Well, I think the piece lends itself well to metallic percussion instruments. For example, your use of the triangle at the beginning is very effective. The use of the cymbal crash is a little more corny but also good. Some things you may want to experiment with: Vibes or marimba playing/doubling the piano eighth notes. Adding some glockenspiel. Using WINE GLASSES..see Joseph Schwantner's ..and the mountains rising nowhere if you have not heard this in a composition. Some well placed wind chimes may be effective as well (though really run the risk of corniness). As much as I get sick of timpani, I believe that you could use it effectively here as a driving force to shape some of the lines. Also consider using tuba and other low brass in a similar fashion at times. Another possible instrument to make use of is ocean drum. If you aren't familiar with it, see Sam Hazo's "Fantasy on a Japanese Folk Song." It is a large flat drum filled with ball bearings that when tilted create wave-like sounds similar to a rain stick. You have a very pretty basis to work form and it requires sensitivity to do this well, but experiment and I think you can have an extremely tasteful piece.

Bravo !

ARAGH!!!!! I just made a whole review and YC deleted it.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In short: Great piece, though the movements make no sense to be broken up. Make one long coherent piece. The ending unsettled me; it didn't feel resolved.

Orchestration: Nice, though keep in mind that keyboard percussion can't use slurs unless they have a pedal. So all those slurs in Glock and crotales need to be removed. Also, you hardly ever orchestrate your dynamics, adding/subtracting instruments as you cresc/dim. ESPECIALLY in a band is this important because inexperienced players won't be able to contain themselves. Also, since you have the advantage of having many players per part, you can easily indicate something like "stop playing one at a time every bar here" or something like that.

Good job!