Happy Birthday, Aunt Janice!

An arrangement based on two familiar themes that I wrote for my aunt a few months ago. Short and simple, but any suggestions to help improve are welcome!

Happy Birthday, Aunt Janice!

Just a quick suggestion: keep the symmetry by repeating the stopped bass line on :32 again on minute :38.

Be forewarned, Happy Birthday is still copyrighted.

(Source: http://www.unhappybirthday.com/ and http://www.snopes.com/music/songs/birthday.asp )

This is the gray area, though: unless you want to commercially gain from this you should be fine. If you want to publish or perform this for commercial use, you gotta obtain permission.

The tune:

Cool, man. Is that you on keys? Nice!

Few things. I'm pretty sure you didn't write it that way, but the recording's ending kinda stinks: the drums are the culprit. You'll have to write a drum part outside of the loop it seems you're using.

Question for you: what is this? The 'head' is presumably at 0:29, yet the melody ends before the chorus does. It sounds like an improvisatory episode rather than a full piece. So I don't really know whether you wrote a head chart but ended the melody too soon, or whether you decided to write a sort of "Impromptu" piece, written music meant to sound improvisatory.

If this is meant to be an impromptu: put more chord action in the piano's left hand when the right hand's working. It's too sparse right now. Also vary the bassline more, it's doing the same thing over and over. I LOVE the break that you wrote into the form (e.g. :32), but the constant "1357-6543" is uninspiring. Vary that line.

If this is meant to be a head chart: the only thing you need is a more clear and complete statement of the head at :29-:48. You can play with it all you want, but there has to be a distinct melody through it. Right now it sounds like half of a head and then one chorus of improv and then out. Because you interrupted the melody with chill bebop licks at :42 and didn't look back until a chorus length later at 1:04, the melody faded into the mist at that point. Each chorus in a form this short needs to maintain its distinct function. But let me repeat: none of this necessarily applies if the tune isn't a head chart.

And a small thing: you need something at 1:08-1:10. Right now it sounds like an extra bar of nothing. IMO you need to justify that space in the familar melody. Bass, drums, piano, someone has to do something.

Thanks for sharing! Was that Garageband?

Thanks for the responses!

Peter_W ~ This was actually composed to be sort of an "impromptu" piece, thus the lack of a clear statement of a "head" and chorus. I just composed it to send to my aunt as a birthday gift, so no commercial use is intended. This is actually me on keys, which explains the scarcity in the left hand: I've only been playing a bit over a year... I really don't know much about jazz form (though I learned quite a bit by just reading your post!), so this was done primarily by ear. As for the emptiness at 1:08, I completely agree. Perhaps to address the issue of monotony in the bass line I could allow it to go off on its own tangent for a bit. Oh, the possibilities that are coming to mind! I am taking a course on music composition this coming semester, so I hope to really build a more solid understanding of form and development, as it seems to be one of the things I lack in most.

Do you know of any websites that give tips on comping with the left hand while improvising on a head in the right, by chance?? I would really appreciate any help, I really want to learn.

This was done with Acoustica Mixcraft, an excellent recording program for its price ($65!). Thanks again for the response, I'm inspired to improve on this piece!