September 10, 201015 yr A short song I made to express sorrow and loss. Pretty much how I was feeling at the time I made it. Nothing technically special about it, but I think it brings out the emotions I wanted to put across.P.S: Hey that kinda rhymes! :P Dying Words
September 10, 201015 yr Very nice piece. Exactly as you wanted, something that is bringing out emotions of sorrow and loss. I really only recommend editing the ending which felt somewhat abrupt, maybe have something lead up to it whether it be tempo change or something, just so it isn't as sudden feeling. Other then that, really good piece! Great job -Matt
September 11, 201015 yr I like it too. The ending needs to be fixed. Sounds like the woods and high strings cut out instead of fade out. I would like to see a little more tension being built up but this might not be what your going for. One emotion is great and all but when you bring in the more than one then it feels like your going somewhere. You can do it in subtle ways that don't distract from the main emotion you are trying to achieve. Also, usually sadness followed by joy, exuberance, etc makes the piece more meaningful since most people want a "happy story". Even though you might want to express a single emotion you had you also too want a happy outcome(although you might not be experiencing that or thinking about it). For example, suppose someone else is going through a similar emotional issue as yours. If you want the song to "touch" them then don't you think that by making them feel as if "everything is going to be ok" at the end would make them feel good? If it's just sad through the whole piece then it becomes harder to make a connection. The piece to me, does not sound that sad but contemplative. (sort of sad and introspective) Towards the end you seem to start moving in a more joyful(but not joyful, just towards that direction) but do not go much further. Again, you may not feel the way I'm describing but you know you would like to, right? (not to many people like being sad) It might be hard to write something you don't feel but maybe think about the way you want to feel. If you can communicate that too(like you did with the sad part) then the piece will be more moving for people. I would mess around with the intro a little, I really like the first section(excluding the intro). The pulsating effect is pretty cool. But before that it is a bit bland. Maybe add some very soft slow strings underneath. This way it will tie in with the instrumentation in the first section and make a more unified introduction. These are only suggestions and are just personal opinions on what I might do. I feel that it has a lot of potential but for it to really take some one's breath away you'll have to work on it a lot to milk every ounce you can(not because it's bad but because it is always difficult to do with these types of pieces). If this was a background piece then it would definitely work well(since you don't wanna interfere with what is going on with the foreground). If it is meant to be a standalone piece that is suppose to take the listener on an emotional journey(not roller coaster like but from point A to <img src="http://network.youngcomposers.com/elgg/ipb/public/style_emoticons/default/cool.gif" alt="B)" /> then adding more joyful(not necessarily happy but like a feeling of overcoming the sadness).
