Some Advice/Feedback on a Sonata I'm Doing :O

Ello. Some time ago, I posted some random topic about the forms of sonata or something. Anywho, I've started working on it and I'm stuck :o! Would anyone like to give me some feedback/criticism on what I should be doing, what I shouldn't be doing etc. :D

It's in mid format since I don't really know how to make it into pdf file >_>... Also, there isn't any expression marks etc since I'm just focusing on the notes at the moment though :o

Edit: http://evanomusic.hostoi.com/Music/Sonata%20No%201.mid <--- To download Dx The random upload thing doesn't seem to be working for me >_>

Having only listened to the file, I liked the opening statement (3 chords 'bam bam bam'... very strong). I didnt like the silence after the 8th chord though. The beginning, what I would guess first 2 measures (first 6 chords) has a nice dramatic feeling to them. Maybe you could expand on that just a bit more (like 2 measures) before changing it up? I suppose that silence would come unexpected, but would not sound uncomfortable (which it did to me this way).

I think the measures with the silences are build like this:

| quarter note - quarter note - quarter rest + eight rest - eight note | quarter note - quarter note - quarter rest - quarter rest |

Am I right?

If you want the listener to be eased into this change you could do something like this

RH | quarter note - quarter note - quarter rest + eight rest - eight note | quarter note - quarter note - quarter note - quarter rest |

LH | quarter note - quarter note - quarter note - eight rest + eight note | quarter note - quarter note - quarter note - quarter rest |

I think this way you don't startle the listener with the silence: by stopping with the right hand (upper voices) but letting the left hand (lowest voice) play one more deep note. As if it was too late to follow with the quarter rest indicated by the upper voices. And another thing that might smoothen things a bit, is to write the 'bam bam bam' figure in the measure after that so the listener has a sense of continuity.

I personally feel this continuity is very important because the listener has only had a few measures to get into your piece and might loose track if you are not careful. This is also why I suggested extending the first 2 measures by adding another 2 measures with this 'bam bam bam' figure.

So far the intro, the more cheerful part after that is kind of... how shall I put it... it does not seem fit for following the introduction. Not in style or in character, but in technique. So much repeat of that same chord is killing the expectations you set. You might want to rethink the matter (or just leave it that way, after all, it's all up to you). Like Beethoven's sonata no 8 (mvt 1), which I think has been a source of inspiration for your intro, this piece sets a kind of disturbing mood. Beethoven lets it follow by a somewhat frantic (at least for the time) main theme. This does not mean that you should do so too, but if you are going to follow it with a cheerful part, why not make it disturbingly cheerful? Keep some tension in that part as well to make the listener slowly but certainly become aware of something not being quite right. By keeping the tension and not letting it wither away that easily, you can very effectively reintroduce the introduction along the way.

These are just some thoughts. Maybe this is absolutely not what you had in mind, and that is perfectly fine :)

I think this piece has great potential to become a nice piano sonata in a Romantic era style.

Whatever you are going to do with this comment, I wish you good luck with the piece!