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Does This Piece Flow To You?

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I have been working on this piece for just over a week now, and I pretty much completed the second page last night, however... I am unsure if it flows, as I have spent too much time on it I feel that my ears are fatigued and just used to it. Should I not have the key change...? Is this development section relatively decent..?

 

http://www.youngcomposers.com/music/4477/i-reach-for-her-a-girl/

 

 

- Score is included, listen to the midi_mockup, as the first track is a real recording. Please let me know if this material works.. I feel that it does...? But, I would like some input nonetheless...?

flows for me

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