song for voice and piano

any comments would be much appreciated.

winterspassmeedee.mid

I am just wondering whether you could provide the lyrics to this piece? I think that would help me give you a better description of my thoughts.

hehro:

Cavatina, the song unfortunately has no lyrics. When I first started writing it i assigned the words 'how long till winter's pass?" for the first six notes. I kept writing and kept promising myself that i would find a suitable poem but i never did.

Anyway, i was thinking that the lyrics were supposed to be about a woman waiting for winter to pass to see her husband who is in far away lands (army? some expedition?). The days start to approach the spring yet he has still not arrived.

I hope this helps.

Wowee. This is...uh...it's interesting. :D

A lot of your harmonies are very neat, and the progressions are nice and modern, but some notes seem random and ill-placed. Like in ms 26, that C is sort of odd. I suggest changing it to an F, or at least, that's what I did and I think it sounds good. :) But don't listen to me.

Also, the break in ms 37 is very jarring, for the previous measures make it seem like it's building. Then you suddenly stop the sound. I guess this could work depending on the lyrics...but right now it just sticks out! Also ms 61, the D and F come out of nowhere and it's really wierd sounding, like bad wierd, not good wierd. ;)

Also, this key is going to make anyone pull out a gun and shoot you numerous times. Noone's going to sing these notes, not anyone, no how. The highest note is an Eb, which is utterly rediculous even for a coloratura to sing in a song like this. Your most common notes are F, G, and A flat, which is still very, very high. Your lowest note, however, is only F#!! I suggest taking this down a fourth, making the highest note a B flat, the lowest a C#, and the most common note a C. This would be a lot nicer sounding when publicly sung. ;) And you won't have sopranos calling you and leaving death threats in your mailbox!

:D comments, Nickthoven.

Also, this key is going to make anyone pull out a gun and shoot you numerous times. Noone's going to sing these notes, not anyone, no how. The highest note is an Eb, which is utterly rediculous even for a coloratura to sing in a song like this. Your most common notes are F, G, and A flat, which is still very, very high. Your lowest note, however, is only F#!! I suggest taking this down a fourth, making the highest note a B flat, the lowest a C#, and the most common note a C. This would be a lot nicer sounding when publicly sung. ;) And you won't have sopranos calling you and leaving death threats in your mailbox!

Yeah, i really wasn't sure about the range when writing it. I knew it was getting *a bit* ;) high, especially that ending E flat. I think I'm going to leave in the break at meas.37 since it was fitting with the (almost) imaginary lyrics i had in mind.

Thanks for the input, im sorry i can't give a more lengthy response.