December 10, 20205 yr I wrote a short A section that is deliberately bare so that I could embellish it at the end of the B section which is heavy in chromaticism to give it an intoxicated, joyful, and humorous character.
December 10, 20205 yr Once again I think I detect a slight rhythmic illusion in your writing. Because the first four 8th notes are played without accompaniment in this it sounds like they might be pick-ups and beat 3 is to my ear interpreted as beat 1. I think the way to solve this problem is to place a slight accent on the very first 8th note and a decrescendo to the end of the bar starting the pattern over in the next measure. I think that's also how a pianist might decide to play this to give it more musicality in their interpretation. Of course, this illusion is dispelled and the strongest beat becomes apparent when the accompaniment and the melody play together at the beginning of bar 3. Also, in my opinion you really should start the accompaniment and the melody together right away on beat 1 of the recapitulation in bar 18. Overall a nice piece!
December 10, 20205 yr Author 33 minutes ago, PaperComposer said: Once again I think I detect a slight rhythmic illusion in your writing. Because the first four 8th notes are played without accompaniment in this it sounds like they might be pick-ups and beat 3 is to my ear interpreted as beat 1. I think the way to solve this problem is to place a slight accent on the very first 8th note and a decrescendo to the end of the bar starting the pattern over in the next measure. I think that's also how a pianist might decide to play this to give it more musicality in their interpretation. Of course, this illusion is dispelled and the strongest beat becomes apparent when the accompaniment and the melody play together at the beginning of bar 3. Also, in my opinion you really should start the accompaniment and the melody together right away on beat 1 of the recapitulation in bar 18. Overall a nice piece! Thank you Papercomposer. I made the changes you suggested, when I played it back it made me smile because it sounded similar to how I play it on the piano with regards to the initial accent and dynamics.
December 10, 20205 yr Nice job! I think it sounds better! If you want to tweak it some more you could add the same sort of dynamics to the recapitulation that you added to the exposition so it would sound less robotic with the constant 8th note accompaniment.
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