Agnus Dei (Choral)

*Update*: I've made some changes and corrections to the sheet music as suggested below. The links in this post all still apply!

-----------

Hey,

This is my first poke at writing for choir (though I've been singing in school choirs for about 7 years). I used the Agnus Dei text from the requiem because it's public domain, and I obviously can't get copyright permission for text at the age of 17 :wub:

My choir director liked the piece and wants us to perform it (meaning I teach it and conduct it too).

You can view the sheet music at: http://www.jsaund.net/media/music/agnus_dei.pdf

and hear the notes set on strings at: http://www.jsaund.net/media/music/agnus_dei.mp3

Feedback is greatly appreciated! Critiques on the actual sheet music itself is also welcome, as this is the first time I have actually transcribed one of my compositions.

Wow... that's perfectly written boy !

Your writting is perfectly clear, the harmony you use sound pretty fine, the sentences are very good... I'm sorry I have nothing bad to say... maybe I should listen to it more often to find faults... but let it stay perfect...

If you wish I wrote french texts that you can put in choir works !... I'll help you with the french structure... (I might as well ask you to write the choir parts in my opera, but I guess that wouldn't be fair... ahaha)

In brief... very good writing as far as a first reading of the score goes !

I really enjoyed listening to this piece. I could really imagine how beautiful it would sound with voices! I like the free-flowing counterpoint, kind of like neo-Palestrina. Also, When first listend to the piece I was reminded of Barber's Adagio for Strings and also Henry Gorecki's 3rd Symphony.

I hope you have a very great performance of this piece. Hopefully, you will be able to get a recording and post an mp3 for us.

Oh yeah...I love your use of dynamics in this piece.

Oups... for the pleasure of it I took a second look at the score (sorry I'm almost drunk... ahaha)... and the most important part (the tenors) has bad editing at mesures 8-9. And shouldn't you add a crescendo there also ? And the alti lacks their rest in the last system. And always write the dynamics above the first note unless you really can't (I'm talking only for voices... of course). And don't tie the same notes when there is different word on it.. (oups... maybe I should stop looking at the score... that makes 5 times I edits details on that message...).

GOD... after 8 years of conservatory and university I don't write as clearly as you... I spend tooooo much time on theory I guess.

Ah... you have to tie the notes when it's on the same vowel by the way... ahah... I still can fin minors mistakes :wub: I'm glad you're not yet a divinity !!... you'll blast everyones counterpoint in your classes if you haven't done them yet.

This is very, very nice in places. There are a couple things that I've noticed that I would address:

m. 2 in tenor and bass - no ties on the word "Angus". Same for m.4 in tenor from beat 3 to 4.

Bottom of page 1 - last system. Ending the phrase on the word peccata is something I find very awkward at this tempo, especially with so resting and final sounding a chord. I realize what you are trying to do as you do start the next phrase with the same chord, but you stretch time too much here. If you insist on it, don't put a period after the word "peccata", use a comma.

page 2 - first measure - don't capitalize peccata.

page 2 - first line - it's easy to have everyone sing the "di" of "mundi" at the same time, but having them continue that vowel with a mellisma through the next measure seems somewhat forced. My solution might be to have the sopranos sing as written but have the lower parts repeat the words "peccata mundi" even over the barline if neccessary into the forth measure of that system.

page 2 - top system - 3rd measure - have the alto divisi use stems up (you do want the firsts to sing that line, don't you?).

page 2 bottom system - period after requiem - not comma.

page 2 - bottom system - 4th and 5th measures, get rid of all ties except in second sops on the last two beats (and thse are optional seeing as you haven't used any ties in any other mellismas in the piece.

page 3 first measure - if you want the second sopranos to sing the words along with the firsts at beat four, you need to give them two quarter notes, not one half note.

Thank you all for the comments, complements, and suggestions. I've never had a piece responded to so quickly on this site!

Dunael and Majesty: I'm really glad you liked the piece and that it reminded you of pieces I enjoy (Barber's Adagio for Strings is beautiful). Dunael, I'd be interested in looking at your french texts (providing you could give me a good translation) :wub:

Thanks for all of the writing critiques leightwing. I've started working on the notation things and should have an update by tommorow. With the "peccata mundi" phrase, I now have the altos and second sopranos repeating that text while the others carry out the "-di," because those two voice parts move together on that measure, as do the others. With the timing at the bottom of page 1, ("peccata,") is that something you hear in the strings .mp3 file, or the actual writing itself? If it's the former, I can easily modify the timing when I'm conducting the choir.

Thanks for all of your comments, and check back tommorow for an update to the sheet music! (I'll post again anyway).

Wow.. This piece flows magnificently. The best chorale I've ever heard. Even without the lyrics, I can already feel voices singing behind it. And the dynamics were awesome!!

Thanks for the comments. I've updated the sheet music with some of the suggestions given; see the top post for the links (they are the same as before).

Strange - I'm sure I posted a comment - an ok one too. Must have been deleted. I remember going through the score throughout. ah well....

Great Jason !

I had no time until now to look at the corrections of the score ! That really almost perfect. The only thing that you have to (and I think I told you already) is to tie the notes that share the same vowel. With the voice that the only use of ties... and since it's the only use... let's do it ! Otherwise, the piece sound really beautiful and should be sung by choir... there is lots of really really worst stuff sung (unfortunatly). Reading your score I thought that you could (at least from time to time) put passing notes between the thirds, that would make the conterpoint more alive... (but maybe you want it dead since the lyric talk about a requiem ! eheh)... but that's already very good and it's just a suggestion... that might come to waste the last part in eight... so if you make some change... just make sure it doesn't waste the feeling of the end.

Good work, really !... you have a pretty clear and good musical writing (I'm talking about notation also here).

Whoa. That is gorgeous. Promise me you'll get a live recording if at all possible, okay? I can't think of anything I could possibly say to help improve this. Well done.