A Short Symphony - Mvmt. 1

Any feedback is appreciated, this is the first time I'm sharing a composition with others. 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ac0N4155-naKSfQ-lI3in4plNS71jDfZ/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1evdOrRNof3Wx4iYYQHaL6D5xt59oAOSg/view?usp=sharing

I don't understand this work.  What is your objective?  What are you trying to communicate?

Mark

  On 2/26/2022 at 10:07 PM, MJFOBOE said:

I don't understand this work.  What is your objective?  What are you trying to communicate?

Mark

 

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The arc of the symphony begins painfully, then becomes optimistic and playful. As the end comes near, however, the mood is becomes unsure and melancholy again. It is mainly in the key of F# minor. This is just the first of four movements: Largo doloroso, Allegro vivo, Allegro animato, and the Finale.

Hi, I think it's a good work, but maybe the musical ideas are not completely cohesive?

  On 2/27/2022 at 5:43 AM, EnriqueMZ said:

Hi, I think it's a good work, but maybe the musical ideas are not completely cohesive?

 

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Thanks, can you share an example of what you mean?

  On 2/28/2022 at 12:05 AM, camch23 said:

Thanks, can you share an example of what you mean?

 

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Yes, I think the transitions for example, bars 46-49 are not well connected with the next part, it doesn't feel organic (to me), and something similar happens in bars 61-62, the transition is abrupt (I mean in emotions) but without connection. It's just my opinion, maybe I'm wrong but those were the details/things that I think are not well developed.

  On 2/28/2022 at 8:04 AM, EnriqueMZ said:

Yes, I think the transitions for example, bars 46-49 are not well connected with the next part, it doesn't feel organic (to me), and something similar happens in bars 61-62, the transition is abrupt (I mean in emotions) but without connection. It's just my opinion, maybe I'm wrong but those were the details/things that I think are not well developed.

 

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I see what you mean about 61-62. I can make that transition much smoother, but at 46 I was trying to go for a drastic change in mood from previous measures. Do you notice anything else?

  On 2/28/2022 at 12:34 PM, camch23 said:

I see what you mean about 61-62. I can make that transition much smoother, but at 46 I was trying to go for a drastic change in mood from previous measures. Do you notice anything else?

 

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Nop, I really enjoyed your music, I hope to hear more.