Natura Naturans - 1st and 2nd mov(s)

Do let me know what you think of it. Constructive criticism is welcome 🙂

Nice job!  The change to the "Avian Waltz" movement was a welcome one and gave the piece an optimistic ending although in terms of balancing the lengths of the respective movements I thought the 2nd movement was much too short.  Also the harp arpeggios throughout are kind of a cheap way of giving your piece motion.  Makes it sound more like a video-game track rather than a symphonic movement.  You could have used the harp more sparingly, for example using it only in the first half of each measure or only ascending or descending with it but not both.  Also, it would be great to look at a score of this to make sure that the harp would be able to manage the chromatic changes you have (among other things that the score would help people hear).  I love the repeating wind notes in the Avian Waltz - really characterizes the birds imo.  Thanks for sharing and well done overall!

6 hours ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said:

Nice job!  The change to the "Avian Waltz" movement was a welcome one and gave the piece an optimistic ending although in terms of balancing the lengths of the respective movements I thought the 2nd movement was much too short.  Also the harp arpeggios throughout are kind of a cheap way of giving your piece motion.  Makes it sound more like a video-game track rather than a symphonic movement.  You could have used the harp more sparingly, for example using it only in the first half of each measure or only ascending or descending with it but not both.  Also, it would be great to look at a score of this to make sure that the harp would be able to manage the chromatic changes you have (among other things that the score would help people hear).  I love the repeating wind notes in the Avian Waltz - really characterizes the birds imo.  Thanks for sharing and well done overall!

 

That's a great criticism! Even I had the feeling that the harps sound too cliche and cheap. I am definitely going to make the harp part more spicy! Thanks for listening 🙂

I agree with Peter that the harp arpeggios become tiresome. That said, the harmonic textures of mvt. 1 are good, and largely the music fits the picture you've put with it. There are a lot of places where I wouldn't have made the same choices, but your voice is your voice and that's fine. I wasn't so taken with mvt. 2, though. To be "avian" it needs a substantially different texture than mvt. 1, but it's got the same heaviness in the mid-to-low strings. And to be a "waltz" it needs to acknowledge waltz form -- not just play a melody twice and head straight for the coda. It's a sketch, not a movement. And -- sorry, but this is my pet peeve on the YC Forum -- though you might work these ideas into a suite, it doesn't have the breadth of development to be a symphony (even "micro").