Wastavino Posted September 5, 2023 Share Posted September 5, 2023 This tune was made during the pandemic lockdown, as an asingment for college. It isn't really based more like inspired by this manga I was reading then. https://archive.org/details/aronsabsurdarmad0000kimm/page/110/mode/2up?view=theater Anyway, I was losing my mind with all the zoom session classes, so the context bring me something to think about life when we all have no life a all. I found the finale file and make a development secction, but it still WIP, so any commnets or suggestion will help. 🙂 MP3 Play / pause JavaScript is required. 0:00 0:00 volume > next menu El daphne > next PDF El daphne - Score Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Ng Tsz Kiu Posted September 13, 2023 Share Posted September 13, 2023 Hello @Wastavino, Sorry for a late response. Maybe for me as someone who plays the piano the piano part can be more exciting, as many of the LH are alberti bass, and the RH melody at most merely repeats the clarinet melody, so maybe have a new section initiated by piano would be great! If you want to expand and develop the piece, you may think of the form. Right now it's in rondeau form with the opening melody recurring, and maybe you can develop those sentences to contrasting sections! The scoring can be more detailed and sometimes it flies out of the boundary like in b.13. Thx for sharing! Henry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterthePapercomPoser Posted October 20, 2023 Share Posted October 20, 2023 Nice job! I like it alot but almost the whole piece reeks of tropes from previous Debussy and Ravel pieces. Certainly, there has to be some way to compose Impressionism that isn't derivative of the way these other composers approached it! I actually don't mind the alberti bass - it gives this tune a very accessible vibe. In measure 42 I find the modulation sudden and unexpected. Then you go into a long transitional chromatic section that takes the listener to the key of G minor. To me it would have been more logical if you had written a contrasting theme at that point instead of having two recapitulations - one in G minor and one in D minor. I think the piece sounds good as it is though - it ends with finality and has a nice picardy third. My only objections are to some of the transitional material which seems like chromaticism just for its own sake (like measures 51 - 54). Thanks for sharing! It does sound kinda like a sea-shanty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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