June 22, 20241 yr Hi @veps! I just reviewed the incomplete version of this piece! That old version really reminded me of Star Wars but I think this piece now is much more like a concert-piece rather than bringing with it some cinematic or incidental connotations. I am glad you didn't get rid of any of the parts of this piece which I enjoyed the most (when the very majestic brass swells come in). Of course this doesn't yet sound like it's done imo. I would love it if you were planning to write another movement in addition to this. Thanks for sharing!
June 22, 20241 yr Author 16 hours ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said: Hi @veps! I just reviewed the incomplete version of this piece! That old version really reminded me of Star Wars but I think this piece now is much more like a concert-piece rather than bringing with it some cinematic or incidental connotations. I am glad you didn't get rid of any of the parts of this piece which I enjoyed the most (when the very majestic brass swells come in). Of course this doesn't yet sound like it's done imo. I would love it if you were planning to write another movement in addition to this. Thanks for sharing! Thanks for your reviews! unfortunately I do have to keep it short as the competition I'm writing this for has a limit of 5 minutes. 😞 I might expand the piece in the future!
June 25, 20241 yr Hi, I enjoyed your work. The beginning of the piece creates a dystopian landscape. It is very effective and I can see it as a movie score for a sci-fi motion picture. Then the piece moves more into a more romantic realm with some lovely thematic lines/orchestration. Why not being back/integrate some of that dissonance towards the end? Mark
June 28, 20241 yr Author On 6/25/2024 at 6:58 AM, MJFOBOE said: Hi, I enjoyed your work. The beginning of the piece creates a dystopian landscape. It is very effective and I can see it as a movie score for a sci-fi motion picture. Then the piece moves more into a more romantic realm with some lovely thematic lines/orchestration. Why not being back/integrate some of that dissonance towards the end? Mark thanks for listening! i only had 5 minutes for this piece, and i wanted to write a full journey within that time. i did hint back at the beginning with the trombone motifs before the final melody, and i think thats all it quite needed. i really enjoy circular forms, but i think this piece works as it is, being through-composed
August 19, 20241 yr This is a great work. The tutti sections are faboulous. And the horn swells too. I really love most of this piece, so when looking for critiques I had to look at the score and say "I guess I loved that a little less". My first worry is just projection with the low parts of the Trombone, that's really low, and you do have everyone else at ppp, but just so you know, the trombone is gonna be even quieter than your DAW is showing. m. 17 is awesome none the less. m 20. is great. m 28 seemed to miss something. You know 39 is great. m. 50 speficially feels like its missing some subdivision rythmically. Not a mandatory fix, but may help energywise. I have to say, when move the straight mutes, from that point on I'm not sure I'm convinced. It might be because the DAW took me out of it, but I don't think so. The vibes feel too different, like we've been working up to something and this wasn't it. I was so ready for 74 to resolve us, but we kept going on and lost our home. It's still well written imo but I felt like I lost your vision.
August 24, 20241 yr This is really cool! I really enjoyed the piece from beginning to end. I thought the overall structure was very effective, beginning with the somewhat aleatoric intro, then shifting into the more consonant and expressive sections, and the climaxes were very effective. I particularly enjoyed the shift that occurs at m.23. I think my favorite part was m. 40, very powerful climax! If it’s ok, I wanted to ask about some of the harmonic devices you used, specifically: The chord at m.8 is really cool, how did you come up with it? The horns seem to be playing some kind of locrian natural 2 structure, it I’m not sure how that fits in with the trombones and bassoons beneath them. Also I found the string melody at m.10 interesting, I was curious how it fits in with the harmony underneath? Is it some kind of tone row juxtaposed on top of the harmony? I really liked the trombone melody starting after m.33! I was curious how you harmonized this with the strings? It looks like you’re going from F Lydian to E aolean, then E flat Lydian? The harp ostinato starting at m.42 is really cool. I was wondering how the triplets in the strings a few measures later at m.45 or so fit in? Is this like a D major over F major polychord or something like that? Overall this is really great! It sounds like you are entering it in a competition, so good luck! Hopefully you win a prize! -gmm
August 24, 20241 yr Author 4 hours ago, gmm said: This is really cool! I really enjoyed the piece from beginning to end. I thought the overall structure was very effective, beginning with the somewhat aleatoric intro, then shifting into the more consonant and expressive sections, and the climaxes were very effective. I particularly enjoyed the shift that occurs at m.23. I think my favorite part was m. 40, very powerful climax! If it’s ok, I wanted to ask about some of the harmonic devices you used, specifically: The chord at m.8 is really cool, how did you come up with it? The horns seem to be playing some kind of locrian natural 2 structure, it I’m not sure how that fits in with the trombones and bassoons beneath them. Also I found the string melody at m.10 interesting, I was curious how it fits in with the harmony underneath? Is it some kind of tone row juxtaposed on top of the harmony? I really liked the trombone melody starting after m.33! I was curious how you harmonized this with the strings? It looks like you’re going from F Lydian to E aolean, then E flat Lydian? The harp ostinato starting at m.42 is really cool. I was wondering how the triplets in the strings a few measures later at m.45 or so fit in? Is this like a D major over F major polychord or something like that? Overall this is really great! It sounds like you are entering it in a competition, so good luck! Hopefully you win a prize! -gmm Hi, thanks so much for listening! I appreciate your feedback and interesting observations. Regarding my harmonic language, I honestly just write what I think sounds good, there's no other way to put it. I've never really seriously studied theory, so at this point my writing is pretty much just what I think works. I'm starting music uni this year, so hopefully I can start to understand my own choices soon! XD
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