Somethin' U Got

Another attempt (and probably my last) at writing a decent song.

 Somethin' U Got
Somethin' you got, is haunting me
I can't explain it, I can't break free
You're on my mind, almost constantly
Somethin' you got has got a hold on me

I had no plan to get close to you
But thoughts of you keep slipping through
My lazy brain has got nothing to do
But wonder if you think about me too

I've got no appetite, can't even sleep at night
I lie awake wondering what to do
I'm looking for a sign, to show me why that I'm
So afraid I might be falling for you

Somethin' you got, has captured me
I can't explain it, I can't break free
Whatever it is just, won't let me be
Somethin' you got has got a hold on me

I don't know what it is you've got
I only know I really like it a lot
I hope and pray that it might be true
That you might feel the same way I do

One day I realized, when I look in your eyes
I see the world in a brand new light
And from my point of view, I owe it all to you
It's like the sun coming out at night

Somethin' you got, is haunting me
I can't explain it, I can't break free
You're on my mind, almost constantly
Somethin' you got has got a hold on me

Your easy ways, your tender touch
I've got to have it now
Now that it means so much
Now that I need you so much

Somethin' you got, has captured me
If this is prison, I don't want to be free
No use pretending, that you can't see
Somethin' you got has got a hold on me

Somethin' you got, is haunting me
I can't explain it, I can't break free
You're on my mind, almost constantly
Somethin' you got has got a hold on me

Edited 2 hours ago2 hr by barko
revised version

Hey man

This is about as far away from my style as you could be, but you kept my attention throughout. You're a really good arranger, as this sounds very complete and polished. I like a lot of the attention to detail, especially in the bass and drums. The part writing is great too, and you really seem to grasp songwriting from a producer's point of view (that's a good thing). 

I first saw the lyrics and thought this was going to be a blues tune, so imagine my surprise 😄 in hearing bright major chords with synths and effects on your voice (chorus? chorder?). The prechorus was my favorite part, nice catchy melody writing. 

The lyrics did seem a bit lackluster in parts, like the "got lot true do" rhyming in a verse. Maybe the arranging was sometimes too thick for my taste, and some spots could be better served with less going on. But, overall this was well thought-out and executed nicely. 

And also, 

4 hours ago, barko said:

Another attempt (and probably my last) at writing a decent song.

Why your last? Do you have stockpiles of old ideas you've been meaning to go through? Or are you exhausted from the laborious isolation we composers live through on a daily basis? I'm curious to know, and above all else, hoping to hear more from you. Well done 🙂 

Thank you, Thatguy v2.0. I do have others (tombarko on SoundCloud - if u r feeling masochistic), but none of them seem good enough to pitch professionally and it's no good being an accomplished amateur. Besides I'm probably on the wrong forum because I'm not a "young" composer and my health in recent months prevents me from working on my laptop like I used to. I did enjoy putting sounds together, but I can't do it anymore. But thank you for your kind words. My goal was to write one good song and this is probably about as close as I'm gonna get. I like what you said about "some spots could be better served with less going on," I found that very difficult though I tried to do just that. Just not that good as an arranger/producer. I have rudimentary skills, I grant you, but was unable to give it that punch I was hearing in my head.

On 9/13/2024 at 5:14 PM, barko said:

Besides I'm probably on the wrong forum because I'm not a "young" composer

We're all ages, and any age is welcome here. For instance, the staff ranges from 20's to 40's. The "young" is also for experience and time spent composing, which I've noticed plenty of adults using the forum to help them wherever they are in their studies. 

Plus, the actual young members here could benefit from a wealth of knowledge you have that you may not see as musical attributes. For example, you said you're going to pitch this song and/or others. We'd love to hear about how that goes, since many talented musicians struggle with executing the more business side of their art. 

On 9/13/2024 at 5:14 PM, barko said:

I like what you said about "some spots could be better served with less going on," I found that very difficult though I tried to do just that. Just not that good as an arranger/producer. I have rudimentary skills, I grant you, but was unable to give it that punch I was hearing in my head.

Any advice or critique people give you regarding your music is ultimately opinion. Take what I or others have to say, and you either implement those ideas or you don't. It's ok to disagree with a critic. It's your music 🙂 I tend to favor a variety of textures with music, but 9000 metal bands would disagree with me. 

On 9/13/2024 at 5:14 PM, barko said:

my health in recent months prevents me from working on my laptop like I used to. I did enjoy putting sounds together, but I can't do it anymore.

Take care of yourself, friend. Hope to hear more from you

47 minutes ago, Thatguy v2.0 said:

For example, you said you're going to pitch this song

I didn't say that exactly. I said none of my creations were good enough to pitch. It's just that I live in Nashville and being a musician myself here for many years it's not hard to find people who know how to do that or to find aspiring artists who are looking for material. Appreciate the comments. Thanks again!

It seems I'm still kicking. I revised this one quite a bit, with an Ai vocal to replace my cruddy tones.