Untitled New Work for Orchestra

Hi all,

I'm posting my newest project.  This is the initial first complete attempt.  My mentor has been busy and I only shared this with him once at an earlier stage of development.  There is no title ... since this is the first work I have composed without some imaginary picture/theme.  So it's just melody and rhythm for effect.  All comments/suggestions/etc .... appreciated.

Finally, met with my mentor and reviewed my score.  Two suggestions were forthcoming: He suggested developing the motif at measure 14 - in the midsection of the work and work for a more varied percussion.  Overall he felt the arc of the composition worked well and held the listeners interest. 

I look forward to other comments from the Forum.

I listened twice, and I was unsure where this was going or what the themes were leading to. There's cool orchestration, lots of tossing around material to different instruments, but I think having more clearly defined motifs or melodies would do this justice. Developing the motif at bar 14 would be a good idea, but I think you could apply that to the other themes you give us. In fact, to me you have enough material here to develop this whole piece to 10+ minutes. 

Of course, I'm no expert, I'm just a schmuck. 😄 

Great start so far, looking forward to the updates!

Hi @MJFOBOE

I'll repeat what @Thatguy v2.0 mentioned that this has some cool themes and motifs that could be developed more.  I like the canonic imitation between the trumpets.  I think the timpani is used in sort of a cliched way.  Alternating between 1 5 1 5 1 5 over and over on timpani is a very common trope in timpani parts that sound worn and boring to me.  Thanks for sharing!

8 hours ago, Thatguy v2.0 said:

I listened twice, and I was unsure where this was going or what the themes were leading to. There's cool orchestration, lots of tossing around material to different instruments, but I think having more clearly defined motifs or melodies would do this justice. Developing the motif at bar 14 would be a good idea, but I think you could apply that to the other themes you give us. In fact, to me you have enough material here to develop this whole piece to 10+ minutes. 

Of course, I'm no expert, I'm just a schmuck. 😄 

Great start so far, looking forward to the updates!

 

First of all ... thanks for the review!  This is the first complete draft of ideas - so I am very pleased you feel that the work have more potential.  I will continue to work on this project.  I have begun to formulate some ideas to expand and strengthen the work.  Looking for a name for the piece ... any ideas?  One last word ... I when I composed the work it was the pulse and rhythm that drove my ideas.

Mark

Edited October 14, 20241 yr by MJFOBOE

Hi Mark.

I enjoyed listening to this piece, as with all your works.

It sounds quite militaristic to me: so perhaps you could call it "The Toy Soldier", or "The Clockwork Soldier", or something along those lines?

My only other suggestion is you could consider adding mutes to the brass during some passages (or handstopping in the French horns), to create more variation in orchestral colour. 
There are lots of different mutes to choose from, each with a different effect:

https://andrewhugill.com/OrchestraManual/trumpet_mutes.html

Edited October 20, 20241 yr by Alex Weidmann

Alex,

Thanks for the review and suggestions! I definitely will take them to heart. 😃

I improved the percussion line in the work.  It was a bit stagnant and made a few minor tweaks along the way.  By the way ... I titled the work Onward ... which captures your sentiment.