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  • 1 month later...
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Movement 1 - 

Just commenting on the guitar. 

- must show fingering and hand positions with notation. There are several moments where I had to try and figure out things, and when I did, sometimes the chords worked but felt awkward. I write tablature with notation, it helps and I don't have to show positions and fingerings. Sometimes I'll write fingering if it's weird. 

- in general, the guitar strumming sounds very parallel 5th heavy, to me it clashes with the string writing. Parallel octaves and fifths don't sound bad on guitar, but they just jump out in the midi. Maybe it's just that, dunno. Some of the chords could have smoother voice leading, it seems like you were rooted with open chords. 

 

- bar 2, last chord doesn't work (mistake?)

- bar 8, why not have the pedal A? 

- bars 13-16, you do this a few times, but check the voices. You tend to drop or add voices freely between chords, and it gives a choppiness to me

- bar 18, why the different Bb shape?

- bar 49, first chord sounds out of place

- bars 75-77, voices again

- bars 85-87, because my hands are too big, I can't play that C barre chord on the A string (my finger mutes the high e), I have to play in on the E. When I got to bar 87, it took a minute to realize I couldn't play it there and had to be on the A string. I would've omitted the top note if I were the performer. Just an example of why positions in the notation are very helpful.

- bar 90, let any of these ring?

- bar 99, impossible chord

- bar 107, last chord sounds out of place, it's a jarring transition

 

That's all that popped out at me, hopefully this helps your writing!

 

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