piano sketch 2 minutes work in progress feedback request

Hello every one hope you are doing well.
i am working on a composition which are inspired i supposed cinematic soundtracks, late romantism and anime.

How well do i have control over the drama?
Does the piece collapse under it self at some point? (cohesiveness)

What about phrasing or melody? is it clear? 

Personal critique:
it seems to change drama in the second half of the piece which may or may not be for the better.

The tempo may be too fast?

The climax is very sudden(second half of the piece)
There may need a better transition.

If the mood changes in the second half it should at least have the same drama.

Anyway.

Looking forward for your critique and comments ! 🙂

Thanks in advance.

Hi @Bjarke!

4 hours ago, Bjarke said:

How well do i have control over the drama?
Does the piece collapse under it self at some point? (cohesiveness)

What about phrasing or melody? is it clear? 

I think the drama is quite well managed with the constant modulation which keeps bringing excitement to the piece, and since this one is only 2 minutes long it’s completely fine! I do think the melody is less clear, even though by seeing the score it’s quite clear, but just by listening it’s less clear because of the fast tempo.

4 hours ago, Bjarke said:

it seems to change drama in the second half of the piece which may or may not be for the better.

The tempo may be too fast?

The climax is very sudden(second half of the piece)
There may need a better transition.

If the mood changes in the second half it should at least have the same drama

I do think the tempo is a bit too fast which makes the music really hard to play, esp. the b.43 L.H. figure which I think it’s almost unplayable under this tempo with fingering concerns. I think climax creation is ok.

Thx for sharing!

Henry

Hi @Bjarke!

Is this the piece you messaged me about?  I think it is quite melodramatic trying to keep such a high intensity and drama without any relief.  I don't personally perceive any "climax" because of the constant high intensity.  You could create contrast by varying the tempo/tessitura or the thickness of the chords.  Currently the chords are voiced so thick all the time that the thickness comes across as the most salient feature of the music and the sense of melody is lost.  Also about the tempo - there are few classical pieces of music that are at this tempo and intensity that still manage to keep a sense of being sublime like classical pieces are usually expected to be.  Is there any particular reason you're trying to write this piece at such a high intensity/tempo?  It isn't conducive to musicality imo.  Because of this the cohesiveness of the melody also seems lost to me - the melody seems arbitrary with random seeming modulations.  Most importantly there's no sense of tension and release without any sense of cadence nor harmonic resolution.  That's my perception of the piece.  Thanks for sharing!