Walk

Hello Folks, I'm glad to be showing a little bit more music for you all. Today I'm showing a piece I wrote a while ago, but never planned on showing because Musescore can't perform it. But I recently upgraded significantly to SWAM instruments. Much less lush but more controllable, this piece was the first I wanted to do because of it's intimate feeling, and use of overtones and unusual techniques.. This piece is meant to reflect my experience of grief, specifically, the kind that surfaces while I’m trying to fall asleep. On some nights, like the one that inspired this piece, sleep feels impossible. Stress, homework, expectations—they all build up, one on top of the other, and under their weight, grief begins to surface.

Suddenly, my thoughts are filled with loss. It’s not painful exactly, nor is it something I want to erase. But it carries a quiet melancholy, releasing the sadness, anger, and tension I’ve accumulated over time. In a strange way, this grief becomes a kind of relief. A way to let go of everything I’ve been holding in.

Still, it lingers. It loops in my mind. Eventually, I have to let it go so I can rest. I have to keep living. I can’t stay immersed in sorrow forever. So I walk along the river, letting the sounds of the water drown out my thoughts. I walk until my legs are sore, until exhaustion replaces emotion. Then I go home, lie down, and finally sleep—my grief forgotten, at least for the night.

Also this piece was one of the few I actually (somewhat) planned ahead. This is what I had planned

"Walk to forget Bass Clarinet, Alto Saxophone, 1 Percussion, Violin, Viola, Violoncello. This piece is intended to in some way, describe my experience of grief, specifically while trying to fall asleep.

Some nights, like the night this piece is based off of, I struggle to fall asleep. Stress, homework, expectations, all pile on top of each other, and this pressure releases grief. Suddenly my mind is occupied by grief and loss. It’s not painful, or something I want to forget. But it’s melancholic, it releases the sadness, anger, and stress I’ve felt over time. This grief is actually a chance to release all my struggles. But it goes on and on. At some point, I must forget my grief again, so I may sleep. I must go on with my life, and cannot wallow in my grief. So I walk along the river, till the sounds swallow my mind. I walk until my legs are tired and that’s all I can think about. So I go home, go to bed, and have forgotten my grief, and everything that caused it, and sleep.

So how do I convey this in a piece of music? I need a theme/motif for grief: I imagine something in the alto saxophone. I think introducing it with a poking/prodding motive, like a repeated note, taken from instrument to instrument. An idea that represents the stress of life, poking my brain to the edge. This I’m not sure will work with the time constraint, and I may just begin at the next part.

Then a swell and complete change to the grief motive. In this context, I imagine something legato and sostenuto, non-triatic and lacking “home”. I think the alto saxophone should appear in the high register for the first time, everyone should be in a higher register than before, which might make the prodding motive earlier less effective, but this grief motive more effective. The grief motive must have a rhythmic element to it, so that it is recognizable as key centers change, and the pitches can be moved around functionally, to allow moments of tonal beauty amongst the quartel nature of the motive. There also needs to be a nature element, an ostinato to represent walking, and getting distracted by the wind, the stars, the river. The grief motive slowly becomes less and less present until it is taken over by the nature motives.

Then we sleep. A meditative ending."

Izaak Thoms Walk Final.pdf