A piece in C major

Stück in C.pdf

Edited May 17May 17 by Tristan25

Hello @Tristan25

Below is my feedback of your piece.

Motive(s):

Throughout the piece you have recurring motive that makes the piece cohesive. And yes, there is variation of the motive to interest, overall. However, I feel that interest is lost after so many times we hear it. This creates your thematic material short melodic phrases. This is usually fine. However, there is need something else to grab our attention.

Harmony:

As your first piece, it is fine to stick to more diatonic harmonies. Later, you should try learn chromatic harmony!

Form:

I am not certain what the over form of the composition is.

Overall, it is great start

Hi, Kvothe:

The 6-note chords can be varied infinitely here. My intention here was to create a state of suspension—and to demonstrate just how melancholic C major can be—despite my limited knowledge. But you are right; chromatic harmony would have been more advantageous. Thank you for your valuable tips.

Edited May 18May 18 by Tristan25

Hello @Tristan25 ,

Welcome to the forum!

It is a nice little waltz. I feel like sometimes the harmony and melody are in clash, e.g. in b.5 the accompaniment suggests tonic A minor but the melody suggests ii7, or in b.18 the accompaniment it's domininant while the melody is in tonic, plus a false relation clash of G# and G natural. This happens in a quite a lot of place throughout the piece. Unless you wanna go for the tonal clash effect, you will need to check whether both hands are in same harmony.

About the scoring you don't need to include the time signature in all the rows, but only in the beginning of the piece. The first triplet marking is probably wrong I guess. Some crotchets rests are unnecessary and shoukd use a whole bar rest instead, e.g. b.15. The dynamic markings (p) in b.42 and onwards are unnecssary and should be removed until b.50's mf.

Thx for sharing and joining the forum!

Henry

Hello Henry Ng Tsz Kiu,

These minor seconds—or dissonances—are intentional; they serve as an emotional "sigh" effect and are meant to give the sound a melancholic quality. In measure 5, we have E and C, with a B above them. It is a Cmaj7 chord missing its fifth. A similar dynamic occurs in measure 18, where the friction between G and G# happens rapidly, creating that "sigh" effect once again. Whether or not it was successful is, of course, another matter. The reason it sounds so poor here is due to this MIDI recording; unfortunately, I do not play the piano myself. Think of it this way: if you separate a small child (the B) from its mother (the C) and take it to an unloved aunt (the A), the child feels a deep longing for its mother. That is what we are hearing. Try playing C-E-G-A-A, followed by D-F-B-A-A. When you reach the B, you will see exactly what I mean. However, some of the errors you noted here—such as the time signatures and rests—are merely formatting issues. Thank you for your helpful suggestions (translated via Google Translate.)