"Semiquincentennial" for String Orchestra

This is a short thing I wrote in one day, perhaps a bit self-indulgently expressing my rather, shall we say... mixed... feelings right now about my country as we near the 250th anniversary of independence. The cellos play the melody of "America the Beautiful" while the violins and violas add harmonies that subvert the simple tune. As always, any comments or feedback would be appreciated!

Semiquincentennial.pdf

Hello! Interesting piece to have listened to. I must apologize now as I have some comments and in an effort to stay concise, I will be blunt. Here are my thoughts: (view on PC if able, not mobile)

1. Double check the alignment of your diminuendos and crescendos. To me, it casts the illusion that the score is a little unpolished:

   

2. With the slur groupings (two-note slurs), was it your intention to make it an ensemble feature? I saw some spots that have two-note slurs in one instrument, but not the others, even when the gestures feels the same: Measures 2 and 6 (in cello) as one example.

3. Last thing would be dynamics themselves. If cello is the main feature, I think it a little asymmetrical to have the violin 1 be a dynamic marking louder than the melody. Shouldn't the cello be the loudest voice when presenting the melody?

4. With the tempo markings, I think it looks better and easier to read when the text is a font size or two bigger or in bold. As a performer, it helps visually distinct the two text field types.

5. Last few picky things would be measures 8,14 and 21. Why not just use a half rest for the other voices on beats 3-4?

6. For the ending 4-bars, why not write "Sempre diminuendo" meaning "Always Diminishing" or "Morendo" to imply "dying away". Your pianissimo to Niente dynamic is a little messy with the spacing not consistent between all instruments.
   

Final thing is to double check/ update is the idea of adding copyright information and a subtitle to say "for String Orchestra" or "for String Quartet". This helps as on first look of the score, the ensemble size is not mentioned. Good work!

Thanks very much for your suggestions! I'm revising the score to make some of these fixes.

The cello line is not really meant to be the main feature; I think of it more like a cantus firmus, and I prefer the familiar melody to be there more subtly. But I didn't write slurs into the cello part just to try to give it a little bit of detachment from the other parts. Not sure how well that works, but that was the idea.

The two quarter rests in those measures you mention are because the a tempo comes only on the fourth beat of the measure.

Thanks again!

Interesting stuff. I appreciate what you are trying to do with the key idea although to only have one single motif risks monotony, particularly when in a largely homophonic style. That said, monotony can be delivered ingeniously such as that first movement in 3rd symphony by Goreki, in which he embed essentially a dark and soulless motif that he sustains for well over 13 minutes, starting within the bass before consistent layering with the other instruments of the orchestra it above while rising steadily in pitch and dynamic intensity… before descending with largely the reverse. All of this is said to depict the machinations of nazi germany. Perhaps even the banality of evil. the key thing is that his motif seldom stops… it keeps going and going. Modulations are sparse, again perhaps to make it devoid of color. All of this is beautifully contrasted with a human voice emerges from those depths afterwards.

This piece just came to mind because of the political connotations you’re striving for.

Here it is

Edited Sunday at 09:37 AM1 day by Markus Boyd

Thanks for listening! Yeah, I appreciate the point about monotony. For such a short piece (really just four phrases, played very slowly), I thought I could get by with just the one motif in the upper strings. I did consider inverting it for the fourth phrase, but it didn't seem to work as well that way.

Also, thanks for the note about the Gorecki symphony; I wasn't familiar with it. I did have some of Shostakovich's political works in mind. Another idea I had banging around in my head was a parodistic minor-key version of "The Star-Spangled Banner" in the militaristic style of some of Shostakovich's symphonies, but that felt a little more blunt than what I wanted.

Can't decide whether I like the rather sterile name "Semiquincentennial", though I can't really come up with anything better. I almost wanted to call it "America the Hideous and Beautiful", but that sounds kind of sophomorically pretentious.