Adagio

This is unfinished.

Adagio/just strings

At the end of this clip, I try to give an idea of where I'm going, and how i want to transform it into major-ish, but it abruptly cuts off because, well, I'm not done.

Any comments/suggestions on the material that IS there would be much appreciated.

EDIT: Here's more of the transformation (it's not the end although it sounds more like an ending now). I like it quite a bit, but I need fresh ears. Thoughts?

EDIT 2: some revisions in the newer part.

1.mid

ahhh, my loyal fans, in silent awe of my potential masterpiece

:blink:

good start. i would recommend the lengthening, but that depends on where it goes. you should finish it so you have all the parts and maybe use some of those ideas in the beginning. don't through compose.

also, the intro is going to sound a bit muddy with the notes so low and close, but that's an effect in itself which might work in it.

i agree. i think i'll go ahead and work out the overall picture/scheme, and then return. that way i can add anticipation to things that will happen later. but yeah, it moves way too quickly into the brighter, full section.

The intro is way too long and boring already, how can you suggest lengthening it? I can't stand it already. In fact, I didn't even listen to the entire thing because I got so bored.

This is unfinished.

Adagio/just strings

At the end of this clip, I try to give an idea of where I'm going, and how i want to transform it into major-ish, but it abruptly cuts off because, well, I'm not done.

Any comments/suggestions on the material that IS there would be much appreciated.

I hear that you have studied the double basses in the beginning of Wagner's "Das Reingold". The first of the great Tetralogy of the music dramas "Der Ring der Nibelungen".

Cool, I like low tones aswell!

Fredrik

A bit of an update.

And Fredrik, thanks for listening. I appreciate your comment. I love the ring cycle! As far as i know, the Wagner intro you're referring to is a long unmodulating drone in one key (E maj?) I do see the similarity of mood somewhat-in the rising from the low register and growing-but that's all. Still, any time I can have Wagner and myself in the same sentence, besides being blasphemous, I'll accept!

well, I guess your in dire need of comments since you wrote yourself a huge list of comments commenting your own work, give me a minute, 4 minutes to be precise, and I'll comment.

AAH! 2 TIMES IN A ROW, I HAD ABOUT A PAGE OF COMMENTS THAT I HAD TYPED UP AFTER I LISTENED TO THE PIECE MANY TIMES, AND I CLOSED MY BROWSER RIGHT BEFORE I WAS GOING TO POST. IT THEN DELETED MY COMMENT, GURR. I'm going to keep these comments short and sweet.

WHAT I LIKE:

1) The introduction with the bass's

2) the upper strings when they play above the Bass

3) the overall building upon the bass's

COMMENTS:

1) keep the notes in the beginning short and sweet, they tend to sort of drag on. This is the case especially at minute one when the bass is playing an f sharp? (I think, my ear doesn't tend to go down that low)

2) keep building upon what you already have, and every now and then, I'd throw in a nice sweet section here and there. (Personally, that's what I would do. Don't think this piece wont be good if you don't do it.)

SUGGESTIONS:

1) dynamics dynamics DYNAMICS, to keep it from feeling boring, add a cresendo in here or there (or everywhere). This is a very nice piece, and I like it, but make sure you are expressive with your themes, otherwise it could sound boring to the audience

2) keep building, you already have a nice foundation to really do anything with the music from here on out.

3) PM me when your done with this piece so I can listen to the full piece, I'd love to hear it when your done

good luck to you on finishing this piece, and good luck to me on not closing my browser.

ha, thanks for taking pity.

i hope you're listening to the update in my last post...you'll need 4 minutes AND 32 seconds. to be exact.

Yes, I am. I just said 4 minutes because it was the first number I saw, and was too lazy to type out 4 minutes and 32 seconds :whistling:

J-, sorry about losing the page! I hate it when that happens. Thanks for taking the time to re-write.

I've wondered about that note (it's Bb if it's the one i'm thinking) as well, these are the reasons I've kept it so long. The same thing happens throughout the majority of the first 4 minutes but you can't hear it very well after the beginning, and I think this lets you sit in the mood somewhat, wonder what will happen, and subconciously prepare you for the rising effect--but again, if it's boring, that will be lost. You noticed it, so I'll keep it in mind.

I like the idea about throwing in a sweet section. Right now I'm thinking about constant building darkness until breaking through to light to enhance the relief, and allowing me to sustain the new mood longer.

And finally, I couldn't agree more about the dynamics and expression! I'm afraid it will have to be imagined. I'm using a free-ware program with limited capability and the worst sound on this site.

I'm happily poor. I teach piano privately for a living, and only accept the number of students I NEED. haha.

Please check out the update:)

another update:whistling:

YOU HAVE CREATED A NEW MUSICAL WORLD!!!

the lack of response is unwarranted! but it's ok, you're a serious composer--just post chopin's revolutionary etude at twice the speed, add hell to the title and call it your own, and you'll get plenty of helpful feedback. quit trying so hard and someone might at least let you know how much they hate you!

quit commenting to yourself, it's embarassing

consign this to the oblivion of which it was born!

haha, I got Sibelius 4 from a friend. He gave it to me on a burned CD, but hey, I dont ask questions unless I need too :whistling: as for the money, I know what it feels like to be broke.

And, just as a suggestion, comment on other peoples' pieces, they'll be more likely inclined to comment back and give you hints ect. ect.

and don't worry about me losing a page, I was bored that night, and noticed noone left feadback on your piece, so hey the pleasure was mine in listening to it though. Its definetly got potential

Yea, I double checked, its a B flat that I was thinking about (I was listening to it BEFORE i got MidiNotate Player, and for all those who DON'T have it, I suggest getting it, it's very helpful for people who don't have perfect pitch (me)) (I only have a good ear when it goes to violin)

I re-listened to your piece

I'm going to post some comments up

- why don't you try to put an insturment an octave above? I think it would be a little more....I'm not sure, but, I'm not sure what I'm talking about, I just think it might sound a little something extra that might make the piece even more nice

- measure 50-55, you show this admazing part with the upper section, yet it suddenly dies. I think you could do a little more with this, maybe state a little bit of your 'coming-out-of-the-darkness-and-into-the-light' theme and then when you finally do state the (too long of a name for a theme) theme, maybe develope it a little? Maybe this doesn't make sense, (I have a hard time of expressing what I think with words) but hopefully it does

(basically, darkness, then you see a little light (measures 50-55 and on) then back into darkness, then you see the light completely where you let your developed theme out that you stated in 50-55 or something, you sort of do this, but i think you could do this more)

- measure 89-90 sounds kind of....beautiful (simply put)

- measure 86, the B (c flat, same thing) seems to be a little misplaced, and then as a result, it throws off the whole timing of the rest of the chords until measure 92. This makes it sound like there's a new cord every 8th note, which makes it very ackward.

- everything else sounds amdazing, I'll post more comments later when I have time

Nice. I would reccomend putting that bass melody in cello or viola. I like it. But I just don't think it is well suited for bass.

Nice. I would reccomend putting that bass melody in cello or viola. I like it. But I just don't think it is well suited for bass.[/quote

Yea, that's what I was trying to get at earlier, it doesn't fit bass too good, I would try viola or cello aswell.

Thank you very much for the comments and for listening! I agree with all of them actually, very helpful. I have reworked the intro and some following parts, but since it isn't finished I'm not going to post the changes.

Sorry I haven't responded sooner, I'm going through a crisis:sadtears: ...I quit piano like 8 months ago or so to compose, and I really don't think I can live without it any longer. I've been in pain since and it's only gotten worse. It's life to me! I have to go back.

Has anyone else had to give up an instrument?! HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH THAT?! unfortunately my personality is too extreme to allow me to do both.