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Sometimes when I've found myself listening to my favorite compositions written by me, over and over, I start to wonder if my own creativity is leading me to become an artistic narcissist. I guess it might make sense that as a composer succeeds more and more at writing music, it will become better and better and more the kind of music that they really enjoy listening to though. But regardless of how good or sophisticated their music actually is, do you think the tendency is for them to be more attracted to their own music? I've heard interviews with John Williams that surprised me from this perspective though. He commented that when he listens to his own music he can't help but hear all the flaws in it. When I listen to his music on the other hand, I don't hear any flaws - I mostly just hear beauty and good music. Is this him just being modest or does he really not enjoy his music as much as others do? Or maybe he's heard it so much that he's grown sick of it? Then there's also something to be said about writing music with flaws and all included in it. That's what gives music its variety and interest. I don't think writing music should be about perfection or always striving to create the next masterpiece - I think that kind of approach could lead to burnout if anything. So maybe when I listen to my own music over and over, I DO in fact hear all the flaws but I've grown to like them through repeated listenings? What do you think and how do you approach your own music? How much do you listen to it and how much is too much?

Personality disorders and ability are seperate things. A person can be gifted and quite talented and still normally adjusted--able to love and work with others as individuals. Conversely, a person could be just as gifted and isolated/ill to the point of being delusional. Wagner vs. John Williams, for example.... Or a complete hack. Which is likely more often the case----the gradiosity covers for their failings.

Hello Young Composers, Today I present a Romance I've been working on for awhile. This is one more of my more edited pieces, I've spent some of the most time on this piece than almost any of my orchestral movements. This piece was written initially with the goal of imitating a Rachmaninoff style Romance. Before you get excited, I can fully say that is not how this piece ended up, but I would still be willing to say this is probably my best piece yet. It's definitely my favorite. I was hoping to save posting this piece until I finished the suite it will be apart of, but I simply have not had the time, motivation, or research to write what I would like. This piece airs on the dramatic side of things. As always criticism is welcome, even if you cannot find the words to make it constructive. I'm especially curious about playability, balance, and formal fluidity.

Sounds Very-Smooth, and in some places, like a Huge Symphony-Orchestra. Your "playability, balance, and formal fluidity" ............................is 100%

I think some parts (3:37 - 4:30) sound similar to Bernard Herrmann's work in the 50s. It's difficult to find anything wrong with this, as the whole piece has a lot of character to it.

I can tell you spent a good bit of time and effort listening and thinking about my piece, and that means alot so thank you for that. I appreciate the specificity of your feedback, especially the notes about fermatas and other formatting suggestions. You feedback is very much respected. As for musescore, one day I realized the sound libraries were on sale, so having just had my paycheck I decided to get “Berlin woodwinds” and “berlin brass” “Cine Percussion” as well as “Cine Strings”. I find that many instruments are out of balance with each other in default musescore. And because of the limited sound editing options (velocity values don’t work with muse score sounds) you have to use dynamics to change volume (rather than some softwares like dorico where you can just make an instrument louder in certain parts of music). These were a game changer, and the $50 i spent on these libraries is a very good in between from Musescore sounds to the nearly $1000 needed for Dorico+Noteperfomer+VSTs. I’m not currently reaching out to any orchestras to perform this, I’ve been looking at some compettions to submit a movement or two but nothing has deadlines soon so I’d rather see what new things I can write. My current goals are to improve until I am satisfied I can write music without limitations (currently my knowledge of harmony and textures feels limited) Once I spend some more time dedicated to improving in these areas, I’ll feel comfortable spending the time advocating for myself to orchestras. I am still very proud of this work, it is many times better than my previous suite I wrote a few months ago. I am taking composition classes this year and next so we will see where those can take me, especially with the focus on chamber works.