CashComposer

For me, it's a combination of many factors. I started being trained in violin (now my day job) when I was a toddler, around the same time I got to see Les Miserables on stage for the very first time. I struggled to practice, but I fell in love with the stage. All throughout my childhood, I gradually gained a greater and greater appreciation for both violin and theatre, but never reconciled one with the other. I began writing because it seemed like the natural progression of things, after all, [pick a great composer] began writing when they were only 5, so why not me? In first grade I wrote a song, but didn't write anything down on paper again until middle school; but I kept writing, just in my head, or simply improvising in the moment, in the meantime. When Noteflight came out I was going in to high school, and began using it to write. At the same time, my school announced that they would be doing Sweeney Todd- I'd never heard of it before, and it was very much love at first dissonant chord. I never did my homework in high school, instead choosing to practice or write in any free moment I had. In college, I elected to triple major (though I only ended up getting two of the three degrees) so I'd have an excuse to really focus on writing. After college, I didn't write for a long time due to trauma. After another trauma (and concussion), I started writing again, and haven't stopped since. I don't know. I'd like to be able to say that I write because it's my purpose in life, or because I have something I want to share, or better yet, so that I have a legacy that remains behind after my death. Those are certainly all true statements, but they're not why I write, nor descriptive of for whom I write. You see, I was kicked out of high school. Just before the verdict, I asked a teacher if I'd ever star in a musical. They said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "You don't have the looks, voice, or presence. No." So I resolved to write my own show, a la Lin Manuel Miranda, to star in myself. I very much write because I simply want to, fueled by spite. It's not noble, it's not poignant, and I really don't care. After being hit by a car and having my dream of being a symphonic musician snatched away in an instant, I really just have the one dream left- and the more people that tell me I can't do it, the more I want to prove them wrong. 🙂

Thanks! I will be sure to take this to heart going forward with audio adjustment for future songs. I'm not used to having to combine multiple tracks, normally I just record everything live- I didn't have time to write a good piano reduction, or hire my pianist, so in the future I'll likely just make sure to have that prepared ahead of time so I don't have to deal with those issues of balance. I just spent the last 20 minutes or so since this comment going back and fixing stuff for my next video, and it made such a big difference!

Thank you so much for the kind words! For the record, I've composed a lot for non musical theatre purposes (still love that saxophone quartet I wrote when I was 16), but I just keep coming back to this genre- I love long form, word painting, song cycles, themes and variations, fugues... All sorts of things that are best explored in musical theatre, for me anyways. Thank you for the recommendation! I always want to see more non male composers, most of my favorite contemporary composers happen to be women!

Thank you so much! I'm not trained as a singer, and I've played in the pits of so many operas that I'm very conscious of how not professional my voice is lol. I'm excited to join a forum of like minded individuals, it's always nice to make new friends!!

The song I posted here is actually one I'd like played at my funeral, because I love the idea of asking the attendees of my funeral if they believe in ghosts, from beyond the grave. I would also like to have Shostakovich's string quartet 8. I have a certain love for Shosty that is unrivaled by any other composer. Lastly, death and the maiden. I played it last summer, and it was transcendent, though it's been my favorite chamber work for years. I actually have this all dictated in my will, is that weird?

Thank you for the feedback! I just hesitate to post the score publicly, because I've had my music stolen before.

This is the title song from my musical by the same name, the second half of the video explains the context of the song. The song is meant to be a fifth lower, accompanied by string orchestra, and sung by a tenor. I'd appreciate feedback both on the video and the music- not the performance, I'm a professional violinist, not a singer! Cash

Yeah, when I look at competitions now, I'm rarely impressed- it's usually all male judges, maybe one token woman who's 'not like other girls', and a similar amount of representation in applicants. I'm not interested in competing and representing 50% of the population, whether consciously or not. That's why I went to an all girls college for undergrad (both of my majors were heavily male dominated), so that I could focus on myself rather than holding that weight on my shoulders.

When I was in first grade, I wrote a song, lyrics, melody, accompaniment, and all. My mom ended up taking the lyrics and printing them with my picture, because she was so proud- I've attached that here. I performed it for my elementary school, for a poetry competition, but I didn't win; I was disqualified, because the administration was convinced I had plagiarized it, because they didn't think a first grader could do that. They couldn't tell us who they thought I plagiarized from, yet still disqualified me. I'm still salty, and it's the reason I don't really do competitions/contests.