Dealing with Self-Doubt

How do you people deal with self-doubt when it comes to composing?

You know, that voice in your head that loves saying things like:

->Is this good enough?

->So-and-so's is better

->so-and-so would have done better

etc etc etc

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has had to deal with this.

I know personally where it stems from: The fact that although I am good at music, I have been the 'Runner Up' for 5 years now, and after a while you begin to loose faith in your abilities. I mean, 5 years of not being considered 'good enough' really doesn't do much for your self-assurance, and right now that little voice is getting particularly strong.

Any ideas? Advice? etc

Cheers,

Chris :-)

Well, I really can't give you any advice on how to deal with self doubt. All I really can do is tell you that you aren't alone. I have doubted every piece I have ever made at some point. I guess it is something you just have to snap out of. If you enjoy listening to the music you write, then tell yourself it's good. And if you don't enjoy the music you write, then why the hell are you composing in the first place? I think a certain level of self-doubt is good, as it is kind of a driving force to do better (at least for me anyway). Everytime I doubt myself, it just motivates me to try to write something better. I think at that level, it's healthy. However, it starts getting unhealthy when you start wanting to give up composing altogether.

Yeah, I definatley agree that every composer or musician needs some self-doubt to drive them to improve themselves.

Like you also said: too much isn't good. lol

It isn't adoubt in my ability to write good music, it is a doubt in the quality of the music itself. I think another problem is that I have an damn high bar which I have set myself which I will probably never exceed.

I am (quote myer-briggs) "Frustrated by your own inner standards of perfection" as well as needing significant support for my ideas. (The latter in order to overcome the former)

And I only say that because I knew it was true before I knew about myer-briggs.

The prdominate thing which worries me is that if I can't succeed in a School environment how will I succeed when in competition with thousands of professional composers?

lol

Anyway, Thanks for your advice

Chris :-)

When I have self doubt, I like to look at my worst piece ever written within that time period. Then in comparison anything else is an improvement over that piece. The worst pieces get better over time and eventually the pieces have been getting better over the years.

Personally, that's motivation enough to keep me writing in hopes of improvement.

Yeh i have self doubt too, i actually didn't compose anything for over a year, but i finally decided to start again.

I personally love the pieces i do, i'm very critical, and if i like them, someone else will....not many i'm sure, but enough to keep me satisfied :whistling:

Everyone goes through this to some extend about one thing or another. When it comes to composing, just suck it up, finish the song and move on. Each successive piece will be better (or should be IMO). Also, try showing off your doubted piece to some musically illiterate people. Chances are (unless it REALLY sucks) they'll be like "Dude! That was sweet! You wrote that!?". Works every time for me......seriously :o

I have huge problems with that, there are periods where I just can't write anything without having to delete it a second later; I guess I have just learn't to deal with it. I mean it comes in waves and when I feel that I doubt myself I just try not write anything - since it will make me feel worse.

No one actually "learns to deal with self-doubt". Only monstrous egos never have self-doubt.

Read a biography of Samuel Barber and you will see that even people we consider monuments of musical genius live through paralizing periods of self doubt.

It's nothing to "get over". It's something to live with, deal with, and fight against, to integrate into your musical psyche.

Well to be honest, egos are built, trained, manipulated and created, not born with :P

I have come to terms with my enormous talent, the amazing abilities in music, and my mastermind of composing (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) :D

There are 2 different self doubt thingies.

The first is the one which can't let you go on, and keeps you back, and is bad.

The other is the will to get better, and thus you need to learn and critisize yourself even at the age of 30 (for me) or 45 (for QCC).

Knowing that people like your music is helpful. In order to know that, threads help (here in YC for example), your clients help (why else would they pay you to write music for them?), degrees help (why would anyone give me a PhD if my music sucks? Note: I don't have my PhD yet, I am still 1 year away, and hopefully I will get it). And so on. The contrary though is only an indication. If people don't like your music, you failed at school, and can't get a job as a composer, could potentially mean that you are not cut out to be a composer, but by no means should it stop you from keep writing...

Well to be honest, egos are built, trained, manipulated and created, not born with :P

If people don't like your music, you failed at school, and can't get a job as a composer, could potentially mean that you are not cut out to be a composer, but by no means should it stop you from keep writing...

Thats just all the more reason to try harder and get better. Basically, if you suck then just keep on writing sucky music. The more you write the better you will get and eventually (longer for some, shorter for others) you're music will be good and you'll know it (thats not to say you'll never deal with self doubt again though).

One other thing: I used to deal with doubt ALL the time. Then I began studying music theory more and more and the more I read/learned, the more I liked my own music. All this theory stuff was put together by the people we now recognize as classical masters (as they truly were). They new what they were doing. Your knowledge of theory directly effects the quality your compositions. Not only that, but it prevents songs from sounding old cause you've played them back so much just trying to get that one note right; you'll know that it is still technically correct and well written.

Good posts everyone!

The one thing I've found since that helps also, is to look back at the old pieces you thought were crap long enough afterwards that you have forgotten them...

Generally, they no longer sound meaningless or boring etc... They actually seem to sound pretty good generally - sometimes you even go 'wow, I wrote that?' :-| or "Wow, I must have stolen that from Somewhere!?'

lol

Chris :-)

Nels Cline once said that "The enemy of inspiration is self-doubt." Let those two nemeses duke it out, then. If you feel self-doubt, listen to (or watch, taste, smell, whatever) something that inspires you and hope that inspiration will win the battle.

I actually feel better when I get criticized over my music than just the plain 'Yeah, it is good' comment. I know I'm not even close to achieve a fairlt good accuracy of what I actually want to write. So everytime I get a praise, of course I get happy but I don't get over-excited I just know that I have gone a more 'correct' path, and If I get some suggestions of improvement, that is when I start working like a maniac :thumbsup: