Looking for feedback. . . "The Fire"

I guess this is what some would classify as a sketch but I have attempted to correctly orchestrate it to the best of my ability.

This piece is called 'The Fire' and I spent a few months putting things together. I'm pursuing composition lessons currently so I can start hopefully publishing my music.

Note: I have the harp doing some things in here that I'm not sure are possible, it would be helpful if someone could clarify that for me, thx. :)

I'm looking for constructive criticism and feedback.

Sincerely,

Jeellegood

The Fire.MUS

The Fire.MID

The Fire Score.pdf

Is there anyway you could post a midi, possibly with a pdf version of the score? I do not have Finale.

Thank you.

Just to let you know, the red second layer is usually meant for the bottom notes, and the first layer is used for the top....

Okay, about the actually composition. It's really good. I like it. My only probably is that it is a bit all over the place, which doesn't really make it as memorable. Don't try to make things too complex. But other than that, I liked it.

i uploaded the pdf and midi for you. . . i don't think it will sound anywhere close to the way it does in finale tho. . . the free finale demo will open and play it the way it's suppose to be heard however. . .

Cransworth,

Do you think I should work to make the theme more prevalent or just tone down some of the 'livelier' sections?

thanx to you both for feedback

Cransworth,

Do you think I should work to make the theme more prevalent or just tone down some of the 'livelier' sections?

thanx to you both for feedback

You should maybe tone it down a little. It's not a really big problem, but it is just better for the listener. I dunno. That's just my opinion. See what other people say.

overall i liked this very much. i think that pizz in the upper register of the strings would give some spice to the flavor as well (fire, spice...sigh no pun intended). it seems like you have plenty of ideas for this piece, the only think i would take out is some of the pauses and blend it better...but im one to talk cause im horrible with transitions but meh. great job though, i think you have fantastic material, too bad i heard the midi lol. keep it up my friend :)

vince

very strong opening i love it, nice stuff you got, rhythm is good, suit the title, sounded like somehthing lion king would use during the king's death part

ending kinda rushed but it can be polished

I really like the musical themes you use however, like Cransworth said, it does seem to jump around a little too much. I would suggest taking your main themes and repeating them, or parts of them, throughout the piece to sort of tie it all together.

One more thing - I felt that the ending chord was too open and didn't give a complete closure to the piece, but that could just be me too. :)

Overall I really liked the different themes and I thought the more complex rhythms added a lot to the piece and made it really sound like fire. Nice work!

Regarding the harp, starting at measure 8, the repeating d would not work, as it would create a buzzing sound, unless that's what you're going for. (But it probably isn't. but it might be.) Generally any repeating note on the harp is going to have that. Also the accidentals (a-G#-G-G#) I think are doable, but you'll probably some pedal slippage.

How many strings are you writing this for? If it's a string section, then the harp will be overpowered, most likely. If it's for solo players, it might be okay. Also, if its for solo players, obviously those viola triple stops in measure 45 might not work. However, you said this was a sketch, so I'm sure a lot will change.

Also around measure 53 when the harp has two parts, that's going to confuse your player, and I'm not sure they can do that. The upper range won't vibrate as long either, so you won't have much sustain. One way that might work is don't use a double stop, make it part of the sixteenth notes.

At measure 83, if you want the harp to be heard at all, I would suggest doubling it at the octave.

I would suggest replacing marimba with xylophone so it will be heard. Marimba is hard to hear in most settings.

Just my thoughts, hope they were helpful.

Thanks,

JWhitmarsh

Wow, I really appreciate all this feedback!! :D

on to my questions. . .

JWhitmarsh,

Since there will be many sections that the harp is overpowered by the strings, should I just double it with xylophone entirely?

And for the stops in the viola part, that section, like most of the song is suppose to be divisi, but I'm not sure yet if that is correct.

Very, very helpful!

Musicninja,

For the closing chord, do you think making the spacing closer would be a workable remedy?

Thanks everyone

Musicninja,

For the closing chord, do you think making the spacing closer would be a workable remedy?

Yes, that would probably help - especially in the 1st violin part. Also, it might help if you end with the tonic C in the bass (which you've done) AND in the violin - that can also give it a more close-chord feel. I would suggest substituting the three E's the violin plays for either E and C at the top or G and C. I hope this helps. Once again, nice job!