Serenata Cantabile

Serenata Cantabile

for Bassoon and Harp

by Brandon Homayouni

:) i have already listened to this delightful piece in other version, and loved to find it here again in this new format. however i think that it still has some problems of coherence from 4:51 till 5:40. here the harmonic leading is uncertain and the bassoon definitely wanders without direction, falling into painful repetitions of the same jumping motive. it is a pity, because in this moment one (at least myself) could expect some greater dramaticity and expressiveness through the minor key, but nothing happens and that is a bit frustrating, and because all the rest is splendidly melodic and really cantabile. sorry, i already know that you are a rock ;) and probably will ignore such amateuristic criticism, but i guess that you expect some sort of feedback. soooooooo, here you have one.

Yeah? You do better yourself then.

Yeah? You do better yourself then.

So if you are so sure that your music is the godsent of all music, why do you post it here looking for criticism? Frantz was honest about his comments... try to keep an open mind and leave your ego at home when you post your music on the forum.

Concerning your piece: It is nice, but I think that it drags on too long. The piece has static rhythms, the oboe seems to lead nowhere. You could improve it by perhaps altering the rhythms in the harp occasionally.

However, it was a good piece overall. I loved some of the transitions, such as that at ~3:50. The chromatic movement in the melody around 4:15 was very interesting and reminded me of Mozart's music. I also liked the passage when the oboe goes into its lower range near the end of the piece.

Overall, good piece. Looking forward to hearing some of your other works.

Screw off. You have no authority, BEYOTCH

Nice piece, but as others mentioned I also think it's a bit too long. Nice but not very original ... simple, pleasant listening. You could either make it a bit more interesting by making some harmonical modulations, introducing something new there, or play with the rythm ... but then of course the piece could loose a bit of its character, depending on how you'd apporach it. But it's your piece and if you wanted it to have that monotonous feeling to it, then it's ok.

Cheers.

"Yeah? You do better yourself then."

well, i think i did!

take it as gift from one trying to be your friend and who truly admires your music.

best wishes!

SEREN.MID

Okay, well that just proves that our taste is no where near each others'.

This audience is UNDESERVING of this melody, so it will be removed.

This audience is UNDESERVING of this melody, so it will be removed.

well in this way you will finally think the whole world is undeserving of your melodies and will compose just for your navel - what a shame. you behave precisely like as those queens you were complaining about before in other topic - proud, disgusting, aggressive, arrogant, thinking himself superior, and completely unfriendly. so go ahead this way if that pleases you and end completely alone, for surely it's you who is undeserving of our praise and attention and love. so sing to the plants and rocks, maybe they exclaim a bravo! afterwards or maybe suggest some advice for you to improve you pieces......

and as says the song, "all you need is love".......

be careful about your way before it is too late, my friend.....

Funny, I prefer the "judge not lest ye be judged" rule above all... and since I've judged NONE of your compositons negitively, it looks like you're the one on the wayward path. In fact, the only thing I think I should watch out for is my tendency to "throw pearls before swine."

It is the most transparent behavior possible to go around hurting those who excel because you yourself cannot abide any comparison. From now on, rather than sharing my efforts with you, I'll focus on hurting all of you when you post a new composition, so you may see how it feels. It shouldn't be too difficult at all, after all.

Ha, this is insane.

Sadly I can't hear the cantabile... so...

Yeah, well I haven't heard one memorable melody from you either.

Funny, I prefer the "judge not lest ye be judged" rule above all... and since I've judged NONE of your compositons negitively, it looks like you're the one on the wayward path. In fact, the only thing I think I should watch out for is my tendency to "throw pearls before swine."

It is the most transparent behavior possible to go around hurting those who excel because you yourself cannot abide any comparison. From now on, rather than sharing my efforts with you, I'll focus on hurting all of you when you post a new composition, so you may see how it feels. It shouldn't be too difficult at all, after all.

Um, I didn't see any hurtful comments. I saw specific comments on how people think you could improve your piece. What are you doing here anyway, just fishing for praise?

I'm just trying to share my work. Since I haven't seen any "showcase pages," sp as to avoid your sneering remarks, I put them here. But let it be known that in the future, should I decide to share anything, I'd rather none of you respond at all.

wha? no, there isn't a midi up.

Well it's good to know that you listen. :unsure:

But let it be known that in the future, should I decide to share anything, I'd rather none of you respond at all.

I don't think that's the ethos of the forum.

There isnt a place for that on the forum as far as im aware, although if you're posting topics up and expecting noone to respond at all, then i think the best place would be free-for-all.

The point of this community is to help each other learn and grow.

Not only do you only post pieces for your own gratification (theres no learning or growing if you ignore anything wrong with your composition)

but you actually show alot of disrespect to other members.

Point of this is: don't worry you aren't throwing pearls before this swine.

I.e. don't expect me to listen to your work again.

i think you are just in a bad day, my dear, you have at all misunderstood my purpose in doing criticism. i have never tryied to compare myself with you, have i? on contrary, i always praised your imense skill, if you can just remember that. and i always presented myself as a beginner and an amateur. in the other hand i think i have a well developed taste for music - even if my own creativity in this field is very little - and i am perfectly able to say some useful things on this matter - if you could just be open to hear them. but you take an artistic criticism as a personal hurting. that's a complete misunderstood, or do you think i criticise your pieces to personally hurt you? on contrary, i love you.

besides, even praising your great talent, which nobody here could deny or even has denyied any time, i always try to understand your pieces, even if it's not always that i can. and i think that even the great ones can be criticised, and why not you? you yourself do criticism to other composers, even the great ones, or are you all love for all pieces by Mozart, for example? dificult to believe that.... it is much more probable that there are some you simply don't like, which do not move you, don't say anything to you, and that's doing criticism - consciously or not. but - oh shame - how can you criticise Mozart???? of course you can. otherwise it would be a ridiculous and blind worship. but you, so far from Mozart, who would anyway be a worthy idol, seem wanting yourself to be worshiped!!!!

do you think you are already perfect in your art? do you have nothing more to learn? do you see no further possible development for you? you say that don't wish any longer to throw your pearls to the swine - bravo! what a purposedless career you think is building up? which audience do you think your pieces are fit to? to that of Beethoven, of Mozart, of the true Masters? you say comparision, OF COURSE i cannot abide side by side with you, but i wish to learn and grow up. have you born all-done? all-knowing? if yes, you are better than Mozart, whose development along his career is wonderful and astounding, and who learned from many people including the lesser composers. you yourself cannot bear comparision with those great ones and your pieces, which you are so proud of, are less than nothing compared to those by them. so, which are your REAL public? obviously the people less evolved than yourself, those you so kindly call swine. those greater than yourself don't need at all your pieces, and most possibly would laugh on them as childish babbling, but those bellow yourself could profit by listening them. you could teach just being open to discussion.

i don't "go around hurting people" my dear. on contrary, i am very fast in recognising and praising excellence wherever i can see it. i always try to offer some useful opinion to whom expects comments, and i guess that if people post pieces in a forum they do expect some comments. if my opinions aren't useful it's another matter. at least i am in peace with my conscience regarding that.

regarding my own works, i don't feel bad when my pieces are criticised, and all them are and often very hardly, and that's quite fair, because i know they are imperfect, and because i know that they are not myself, they are other thing, they are simply pieces of music and not myself.

besides, in fact i would love if you could say on my poor pieces anything which could be useful to improve them, because i know that you know more than me. but if you think that i am expecting only praise you are wrong in this respect. it is quite simple for you to detect any imperfection in them, and what you need to do is just to SAY what you think it's working bad. or how do you think i can learn if all people agree and say they are wonderful??? at once i wouldn't believe them, because i have a minimum of self-criticism to know that they aren't that wonderful, but to know why they aren't is a more complex thing. in my opinion that's the purpose of criticism - to throw light on shadowy areas which the composer is not able to detect by himself.

if you could detache yourself from your musical offspring you could hear any critique without thinking people are hurting you. they aren't! they are in fact trying to make you evolve and become more skilled, more perfect till you can be able to compose pieces they call flawless - in their own vision, of course, but the aim is a good one, and it's on you to take the good advice and discard the unuseful one. but you don't need to grow angry because people tell what they think! the only one which possibly won't sleep in peace that night will be yourself, not the criticisers.

anyway, do as you wish, of course. on me i am leaving you to your own hatred. hope you at least can be happy in your own way.

best wishes!

Yes, franz, you are right. I am sorry. I have had an extremely bad day, and a VERY bad breakup, not to mention th fact that I haven't refilled my medication, and I have to go to court tomorrow. Criticism was really the last thing I needed, and it isn't your fault. If all one needs is love, I'm screwed.

i am so sorry about your troubles , Brandon!!!! i can figure them and i feel bad with you! just be sure that you have a friend in me, and i am always ready to change ideas, feelings and all with you, not only musical ones, but of all kinds. if you wish to tell me about your present problems, or any other thing, your hopes, joys, efforts, please feel free to do it, of course privately.

sometimes a free converstion, even if overseas and by mail, can be very very useful to minimize the pressures and give another perspective on the problems, or at least to you feel you are not alone in this world and that there are people who really care about you. and i apologize if i have hurt you even if don't wanting to do that.

god bless you my friend!!! take care and keep in touch!!!!

:unsure:

I think everyone here failed to catch a common forum trick known as "trolling" where one posts as obscenely and as rudely as possible to stir up negative attention. I think it would be wise if we all just leave things like this alone.