A Noiseless, Patient Spider - For Bass-Baritone and Pianoforte

Hello again. This piece will eventually come before my previous post "O Captain, my Captain," in a cycle of Whitman Poems. This piece is slightly less tonal, with an emphasis on chords built on fourths. Enjoy.

A NOISELESS, patient spider,

I mark’d, where, on a little promontory, it stood, isolated;

Mark’d how, to explore the vacant, vast surrounding,

It launch’d forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself;

Ever unreeling them—ever tirelessly speeding them.

And you, O my Soul, where you stand,

Surrounded, surrounded, in measureless oceans of space,

Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing,—seeking the spheres, to connect them;

Till the bridge you will need, be form’d—till the ductile anchor hold;

Till the gossamer thread you fling, catch somewhere, O my Soul.

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I have the same request as my last post: constructive criticism is welcome, but please no needless flames. Thank you.

I set the same poem in my Whitman song-cycle - Songs of Glory (http://www.youngcomposers.com/forum/songs-glory-6228.html).

It strikes me that the 4/4 does not serve this poem well. I don't think it serves any Whitman well. I feel that without shifting meters, the poem's pacing does not advance, and it gets stuck.

I feel like you have a good understanding of the text at each individual moment, but I don't feel the through-line of it in this piece.

You have a typo in your text. Line 2 of stanza 2 should be "Surrounded, detached." Unless you changed it on purpose.

As a bass-baritone, I can say that the range is well within normal parameters. The tessitura doesn't remain too high and it lays comfortably.

You have several notational errors/oddities; don't use dotted rests in a non-compound meter. Also, the center line should determine whether the note's stem goes up or down. In this case, you've got a bunch of D(3)'s with the stem pointed up for no reason. It looks funny.

Of greater concern to me is that you have unbeamed eighth notes in the voice part. This type of notation used to be standard practice, but that is no longer the case. Beam your flagged notes as you would any other instrument. Unbeamed notes are difficult to read and obscure the rhythm and meter.

Hi flint,

I don't see any D3s with stems pointing upward, and while there may be some, it is really of little concern for me as I notate with Sibelius, and if it's good enough for the program, it's good enough for me. As for the unbeamed eighth-notes, I did that with a purpose. As a singer, it is easier for me to read, and many singers who have commissioned pieces from me request it. I'm happy to oblige.

*shrug* If you prefer to remain unpolished and unprofessional, that is certainly your prerogative.

I would certainly take my performer's preference higher in consideration than aesthetics, of course; though, one could argue that that is the more professional route.

Hi flint,

I don't see any D3s with stems pointing upward, and while there may be some, it is really of little concern for me as I notate with Sibelius, and if it's good enough for the program, it's good enough for me. As for the unbeamed eighth-notes, I did that with a purpose. As a singer, it is easier for me to read, and many singers who have commissioned pieces from me request it. I'm happy to oblige.

I'd totally be on your side about the notation, except for one thing: "if it's good enough for the program..."

That's lazy. Sorry to sound harsh, but it is. You, as the composer, should be articulating your wishes exactly, not in vague, or allowing a middle (middlemachine?) do it for you.

It's not lazy, it's fact. I defy you to instruct me as to why a stem pointing in the wrong direction makes my intentions as composer less articulate. It doesn't. If there were something impeding that, of course I would change it; but something like an "incorrect" stem direction is of little importance to me.

Maybe the stem doesn't. Like I said, I'd be on your side about the notation. Separated 8ths, stems, whatever. But I'm not talking about the stem, I'm talking about your statement.

"Good enough for the program" should not be good enough for you. There's a reason why I don't actually use Finale in my composition anymore, unless I've written it on paper first, and I'm literally just copying it in, image-for-image.

About your piece - I think you might be able to avoid the feeling of stasis in the 4/4 if you removed the barlines. Maybe the occasional barline at the end of text phrases.

I love the idea of removing the barlines. Or at least dotting them. Regarding what I said about "good enough for the program," I think you're taking me a bit too literally. As far as the rules of engraving go, there are things I don't care about and things I do. Obviously I didn't consider the beams "good enough for the program," or I would not have changed them. I also write my music out by hand before transferring it. What I said was really only with regards to the beams.

i like it, it sounds like "poor thing" from sweeney todd